View Full Version : Anal sex... help! =/
December 31st, 2008, 03:44
Ok well I'll just start off and say im just 18 year of age. Just yesterday me and my boyfriend wanted to go that extra mile and attempt anal sex. Condom and lube was used....
Now this may be embarrassing, but I think its serious... Anyways my bf went in slow and just slightly and when it got in, I felt a huge striking pain. So he got it out and instead used one finger. When he pulled out his finger we saw blood in his nail, then we looked at the condom afterward and there was blood on that.
Now hours later, I stare at my anus to see whats going on and it seems like a tear. And there was still some blood coming out. I did research about this and it seems to be an anal fissure, but I am honestly not sure.
Now the thing is... Im too shy, embarrassed, and scared to tell my mom about this or anyone for that matter (especially since im not out to my parents/ family). But I think its serious enough to see a doctor =/. Eh, Im just not sure what to do -___-. But I think telling my mom that i got really bad constipation made me bled a lot is a good excuse xD.
Anyways my post here is to really ask for advice on what to do next. Im pretty sure I should tell and go see a doctor though, as scary as that is. =/
December 31st, 2008, 06:46
Well, if you can, try asking your mom simply to go to the doctor, without reason. Just say that something is wrong. If you do get pressured to tell her what the problem is, just give her the constipation excuse.
Sorry to hear that your first time was so bad. :( Better luck next time.
December 31st, 2008, 10:40
Thanks for sharing, as I 'm sure this is instructive for even our straight guests. I'm glad you were using a condom. Gloves are a good idea too. And trim those nails short!
I'd say before sticking anything in the rectum, it should be oozing with lube, and something smaller should be inserted first until the anus relaxes.
Of course you should see a doctor to allay your concerns, and know that anything you tell him/her will be kept private if you ask.
December 31st, 2008, 16:25
If my hetero experience is anything to go by, preparation in the form of relaxation and finger (and possibly other items designed for the purpose) dilation/dilatation are important together with condom-safe lubricant, condoms and a lot of patience. Do not be in a hurry and going slowly and being responsive to the feelings of the partner are very important. Force is never the answer, nor is getting entry over with quickly if it is painful.
It is worth seeing a good doctor soon to prevent a longer term problem, preferably explaining the true facts, although you may come in for some criticism (or maybe not, I do not know policies there). Doctors are quite used to examining that part of the body as a number of medical problems occur there. You may also like to ask for the notes to be tactful, as you do not know how many people will eventually read them.
December 31st, 2008, 20:20
maybe you have a Hemorrhoid, which are very common, so just tell mom you think you might have that and you need to see the doc to check it out.
January 1st, 2009, 13:30
You should go see the doc, but in my wife's experience they don't do much for you if it's an anal fissure. In extreme cases they can stitch it up, but that's probably not necessary.
Anal penetration (and I use that term vs sex, sex is a movement) is a tricky thing. Some practice is due. The searing pain is an interesting phenomenon, because usually if held still (cease movement) and allowed time, this pain will actually flip into a shocking form of pleasure. It's kind of like a gate you pass, a cherry if you will. All things in life will flip to it's opposite, according to the Tao, and this may be a very distinquishing feature of anal sex.
Once it flips, movement will get the pleasure rolling. Eventually, with experience, your nervous system will not react to the penetration so severely, causing your anus to clamp down. Eventually it and you will become familiar. But even then it's still always gonna be a tedious process. Sometimes your body will rebel. Sometimes it just says no tonight hon.
This is the problem with anal sex- it's not easily feasible to most people. Fissures may be a regular thing for you. But like anything, you can master it.
It's considered the bottom chakra, so there's some energetic and psycho-physical elements to navigate, too. Some people can't handle...going that deep. Some people can handle a tree trunk downtown. Just depends on your makeup (mascara, lip gloss, etc).
January 2nd, 2009, 03:15
Well I didnt want to tell my parents (at least not till after new years, which btw happy new years to all!) and well the bleeding stopped. I took my dump and no blood came out for now. I've been on a high fiber diet for a couple years now or at least i try too. So im guessing the fissure is healing, at least i think it is. But if it were to give me anymore problems later on then i will have it checked out xD.
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