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View Full Version : Reason to restore: CSA


Toveri
April 29th, 2007, 21:30
Hey, I've been really getting an education in the past week about the foreskin, restoring and 'meeting' some really great guys. I've also been reading about reasons for restoring. I haven't really come across one of the reasons I'm restoring and am curious is others out there might be a kindred spirit.

Firstly, I was mutilated as an infant. Then from age 5 to 16 I was sexually abused; molested and raped by 5 different men and women. My sense of masculinity was shattered during those developmental years and has had repercussions throughout my life. I am both gay and struggle with alcohol and I think the abuse had a major impact on both. All of the childhood shit was repressed until one year ago when it all decided to come out in the form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have been working with various counselors about a year to overcome the emasculating affects of my childhood.

I remember from the first time I saw an uncircumsiced man (my first rapist) at age 10 I knew I was defective and less than a man. This continued to when I started puberty at age 17 (very late, I know). For me, my circumcision was fuel to my thinking that I was not a real man.

This is NOT a debate about the acceptability of being gay. I've got no problems with it. However, I DO feel that getting my skin back will move me forward in healing the effects of the childhood abuse and regaining my sense of masculinity back (either as a gay or straight man).

I am NOT about to say that circumcision increases a boy's propincity toward a homosexual orientation. All I will say is that FOR ME, I believe it was a factor (along with abuse and perhaps other factors) in my emasculated sense of self.

Are there any others out there that are using the restoration process in their healing of childhood sexual abuse (CSA)?

I spend a large amount of time in Finland and there circumcision is outlawed and considered childhood sexual abuse, on par with molestation and rape! Having experienced both, I can understand why.

admin
April 30th, 2007, 00:21
Are there any others out there that are using the restoration process in their healing of childhood sexual abuse (CSA)?
Wow, thanks for sharing that heartbreaking account. I think as you've described it, all of us cut as minors need to come out that we are victims of CSA, to varying degrees obviously.

I also think regarding abuse influencing gay/straight outcomes, there might be something to it. I think both 100% straight and 100% gay are very unnatural states. To look at our close genetic relatives like the bonobo, pansexuality seems to be very much a tool for primate group cohesiveness and cementing behaviors that support the group's shared survival stake.

For someone to buy into the unnatural 100% straight schema, I think there must be a certain degree of nurturing and support for it. To 100% reject the possibility of straight attraction, I think there must likewise be some sort of cultural norming at play.

-Ron

jdawg81
May 14th, 2007, 06:10
Firstly, I was mutilated as an infant. Then from age 5 to 16 I was sexually abused; molested and raped by 5 different men and women.
I too was mutilated at the ripe age of one week. What a welcome party huh? Anyway my father is not cut and he did not understand why I should be, but my mother was fed the crap about health and bought into it. So my situation is a product of misinformation. (like a lot of other guys here I'm sure.) I also was abused by my sister's husband.


My sense of masculinity was shattered during those developmental years and has had repercussions throughout my life. I am both gay and struggle with alcohol and I think the abuse had a major impact on both. All of the childhood shit was repressed until one year ago when it all decided to come out in the form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have been working with various counselors about a year to overcome the emasculating affects of my childhood.

I'm not sure how much of my masculinity was harmed by all of this but I do believe that much of my identity has been screwed with because I was mulitated.

I remember from the first time I saw an uncircumsiced man (my first rapist) at age 10 I knew I was defective and less than a man. This continued to when I started puberty at age 17 (very late, I know). For me, my circumcision was fuel to my thinking that I was not a real man.

Same here my sister's husband was uncut, at the time I did not completely understand the differance although I did know there was one. (at the time i just thought his penis was made diffrently) Not untill I starting seeing pictures of uncut men did I start to make the connection.

This is NOT a debate about the acceptability of being gay. I've got no problems with it. However, I DO feel that getting my skin back will move me forward in healing the effects of the childhood abuse and regaining my sense of masculinity back (either as a gay or straight man).

RIGHT ON!!!

I am NOT about to say that circumcision increases a boy's propincity toward a homosexual orientation. All I will say is that FOR ME, I believe it was a factor (along with abuse and perhaps other factors) in my emasculated sense of self.

In no way shape form or fashion does circumcision cause a male to become gay. I know uncut gay and striaght men and cut gay straight men. I believe you are born who you are. If you are gay, though, circumcision just screws your already confused sense of self. I know it did for me, luckly my mother came to terms with my homosexuality, which made it easier to work on my other problems.

Are there any others out there that are using the restoration process in their healing of childhood sexual abuse (CSA)?

I spend a large amount of time in Finland and there circumcision is outlawed and considered childhood sexual abuse, on par with molestation and rape! Having experienced both, I can understand why.
I believe I have already answered your question about CSA and I am so happy that Finland has done that. I just wich that the USA would follow suit and get with the rest of the modern world.

If you ever want to talk one on one send me a message. I would be happy to talk to you :)