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View Full Version : Is there anyone here who was completely against the idea of restoring at first?


Unregistered
February 8th, 2010, 14:23
I've read some about the benefits of having a foreskin in sex. I'm a married woman of 27, my husband will be 30 next week. When I first brought up the idea of restoration, he shut me down immediately- he won't even consider it. He thinks his penis is just fine. I think his penis is wonderful too- but I think sex could be even BETTER for BOTH of us if he had his foreskin back! He has a very loose circ, I can pull what's left of his foreskin completely over his glans when flaccid, and there is lots of flexibility even when erect. I don't think it would be difficult to accomplish. I think if he heard from other men who restored that he'd see it wasn't a completely crazy idea- And I'd love to hear from men who were against the idea at first, thought it was nuts, but eventually had a change of heart. Is there anyone here like that?

calixto
February 8th, 2010, 14:39
Ha, where can we find more women like you? Sisters? haha, but really, this is the first time EVER I have heard of the WOMAN in the relationship encouraging her husband to restore.

I have been at it off and on for a while, but really have been pretty serious in the past 4-5 months. I am beginning to get great results going at it at least 6 hours a day, but I think I am going to try to go longer each day now because

1) It is very important to me to have a most natural as possible penis/functioning foreskin.

2) I know it will make sex better.

3) To put a metaphorical middle finger in the trans-literal faces of the doctors that think this is a good idea, mutilating little babies.

4) TO ENSURE MY PENIS KEEPS ITS SENSITIVITY AS I GET OLDER. I am 29, just a little younger than your husband, if anything, he should be interested to read this because of what happens to circumcised mens' penises as they get older; even less sensitivity, more cracks on the glans, and is likely the reason why, in this country, that shite like viagra and lubricants are a multi million/billion dollar industry. so sick, so wrong.

Good Luck, and PLEASE try to tell more women about the way you feel, and persuade other women in your direction whenever possible. You are a bright shining light to the men on here working so hard EVERYDAY to accomplish a feat that we would never have to do, if we hadn't received an amputation as tiny day old infant children.

Thanks,

Calix

z726
February 8th, 2010, 14:45
At first I thought it was crazy to see pictures of tape or weights attached to a penis, but then when I figured out how foreskin restoration actually worked, I figured I could do this. My skin was tight before I started, which bothered me, and I figured this was a way to fix the problem.

If your husband doesn't want to do this, don't push him into it. Not everyone wants to alter his penis from the way he's known it all his life, and perhaps he doesn't seem to have any problem in need of correction like so many here have had (self included).

But if he's curious, send him here.

gravester
February 8th, 2010, 15:28
How nice of you to try to get your husband to do it. Take a look at "jewsagainstcircumcision". It has a lot of good information of the benefits of NOT circumcising.

cobra
February 8th, 2010, 15:30
Just tell him it's for you, cuz his big schlong is making you sore! :D

Alot of men don't want to think there is anything deficient about their penis... and it is even more annoying to think that it is due to something we had no say in. Do you know what it feels like now that public opinion is swinging toward natural being better? Ooops, sorry we chopped up your weiner. Now we like the other way better. Haha, it's kind of a kick in the balls. So expect a little bit of touchiness about that.

Still, we men are fixers and we are easily manipulated. If you don't make it an issue of his penis being "broken" he can be swayed to do it. I think the best approach for women who want their men to restore is to make it an issue of comfort for you, not an issue of deficiency for him.

Guy: My penis is fine. I'm not restoring my foreskin! Why do you want me to restore anyway? Have you been with uncut dudes? Did you like it better?

Gal: Your penis IS fine! It's just... well... it's making me sore when we do it. It's too big. I want you to do it so that it's smoother and more comfortable for me. Plus, I read that the loose skin helps keep the moisture inside so that the girl doesn't get as dry during the act. You're great, but I need you to do this for me.

Guy: Really? Okay, I'll look into it.

Gal: You're the best, honey! {mod: I can hear Alice Cramden saying "Baby, you're the greatest" to Ralph, in a humorous reversal}.

That's being kind of silly, but you get the drift, I hope.

Unregistered
February 8th, 2010, 18:11
I have no intention of pushing him into it. I know that a guy is sensitive about his man parts. I would like him to be open minded enough to *consider* it though. And I definitely have no problems with it the way it is now. It's not deficient in any way. I didn't have an opinion about cut or uncut at all til I realized that he and I were both missing something without his foreskin. It's the difference between "good enough" and "optimal", rather than "bad" vs. "good". I will check out the recommended resources! :) Thank you!

And to calixto- I have no sisters, but plenty of female friends who feel the same way. It was a conversation with them last night that prompted me to seek out this forum today.

calixto
February 8th, 2010, 18:37
Well thats great! I would love to chat it up with you and your lady friends just to hear what women are actually saying about this. I am delighted to know that there are women out there that are supportive of us getting back what was chopped off of us as babies.

Question: Are you and your husband Americans?, and if so, do you live in the USA, or out of the country? Its even more rare (in my experience) for Americans to have attitudes such as yours, and I think a lot of guys on here would agree, and why a majority keep their restoration mostly a secret. Some of you guys here may disagree, and I would like to see your comments if you do.

I actually have a public "project" scheduled to launch very soon, and would like a possible interview with you, that would end up being published. Let me know, or send me a private email on here if you are interested.

Unregistered
February 8th, 2010, 19:02
Yes, we're Americans living in America. I'd like to know more about your project before agreeing to an interview.

Dani85
February 8th, 2010, 20:30
Guys, don't think so little of us women folk. :p Believe it or not. I too was the one that brought it up to my husband and "talked him into it". Took me about 2 years of talking about all the benefits and now he's trying it. He laughs at me b/c at times you would think I'm more excited than he is...maybe I am. lol I have a friend who's husband is restoring too and we talk about it quite a bit (doesn't hurt that we're both huge intactivist). I won't lie. I can't wait for him to have foreskin! I hear it's quite fun to play with. ;)

Dani85
February 8th, 2010, 20:31
Oh and we also live in the USA...south eastern, where the circ rate is about 75% :(

Americut
February 8th, 2010, 21:07
When I first brought up the idea of restoration, he shut me down immediately- he won't even consider it

Thats unfortunate. As for the question in the thread title, it does not apply to me. I was desperately looking for a solution. Once I found it, I was very eager to try it. My reason was much to the effect of what Cobra said. Sex was very uncomfortable for my fiancee. Fairly shortly after we became sexually active, I knew it and knew I had to change it.

It's not deficient in any way.
But isn't it? And isn't that why you're here? Thats basically why most of us are here, as hard as it my be for some men to admit. Truth is, yes it is deficient if by no other reason than definition, alone. A circumcised penis is incomplete. Thats why we use words like "intact" and "natural" to describe the whole penis. So maybe he's not ready to admit that now or maybe he never will be, but that doesn't mean he can't be persuaded to restore in some way or another. He needs to know why you want this. He needs to know why this is better for both of you. I don't know if its a bad idea, but what if your husband talked to your friend's husband? He could get face to face insight on why everything is incredibly better with foreskin.

Ha, where can we find more women like you? Sisters? haha, but really, this is the first time EVER I have heard of the WOMAN in the relationship encouraging her husband to restore.

Check out the Wives & Partners forum (http://www.foreskin-restoration.net/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=45);)

calixto
February 8th, 2010, 21:12
Wow gals!, this is great. It is pretty much a reverse of what I have ever heard of, but by no means strange. Its awesome. And I am glad your men gave you enough ear to actually become interested, and follow through with the whole restoration process, it does take thousands and thousands of hours with a device always on your main vein, so much that it almost feels weird to NOT have it on.

I have been doing this for well over a year, but never used enough tension, and had minimal gains. Now I use just a little less than too much, and oddly enough I have a ridiculously long and pronounced frenulum, it runs thick and all the way down to my scar, and this is the only reason why I don't put even MORE tension on it to grow it as fast as I can.

Ladies interested in a possible interview, please email me a private message this account, I am doing research that will eventually be published. Anonymity is of course part of it, no identities would be revealed, unless of course, you just WANTED to be a posterchild/face for the female side of the restoration/intactivist movement.

Thanx also to Americut, what a great way to tell the female partners on here about the honest truth about the "incomplete" penis. I know the lady doesn't want to offend her mate, and I think that is pretty much it. She would not have gotten this far if she were not interested, and I commend her for that alone. You go girl!!!

cobra
February 9th, 2010, 00:56
Did anyone think our comments were negative? I was just joking a little with what I said. I don't think "little" of you ladies at all... I think you're awesome!!! It's great to have female support and feedback here, and I hope you gals will feel free to put US in our place if need be. We can be passionate and angry about this and sometimes it gets aimed the wrong direction.

My wife was wonderfully supportive of my restoring from the very get-go. When I told her what I planned to do, her first response was "EWWWW! Why do you want to do THAT?!" But thirty minutes later, after reading some info on the web with me, she was intrigued and cautiously encouraging. She thought it would be good because my ding-dong is kind of broad and she got sore if sex lasted too long.

She is very pro-intact now and has encouraged several people to forego the snip-snip on their kids. She has experienced the difference between cut and intact through me and says she wouldn't have it any other way.

The loose, shifting skin makes for a very smooth ride now... for both of us. She no longer gets sore or goes dry in the middle thanks to the gliding effect, and she seems to orgasm much easier now as well. I guess when you don't feel like someone is reaming you with a corncob, it's much easier to let it fly!! :p

Don't give up. You and your mates deserve to experience what sex is REALLY supposed to feel like!!

admin
February 9th, 2010, 01:26
At first I thought it was crazy to see pictures of tape or weights attached to a penis

My experience as well. I learned about restoring in 1995 at about your husband's age, but since it was all about tapes and weights I wasn't lured to make the move. But the knowledge did cause me to put my diminishing sexual reposnsiveness into the proper context so that by 2001 I really felt I had no choice. I wanted to use a tapeless method, but dabbled with a zero-investment tape method for a while first.

Cheers,
-Ron

z726
February 9th, 2010, 02:19
Ummm… I don't have a husband. :confused: :p

Dani85
February 9th, 2010, 08:03
Did anyone think our comments were negative? I was just joking a little with what I said. I don't think "little" of you ladies at all... I think you're awesome!!!

Ok, so I guess I have to learn that this board is different. I spend most of my online time on an all female board and we use emoticons and what not to show our tone...hence " :p " after "Guys, don't think so little of us women folk." I'll be clearer from now on. I don't think you think little of us, I just wanted to make the point that we aren't all the same.

(CG)
February 9th, 2010, 11:25
I first uncovered that restoration was possible probably back in 1997 or 1998. I ran across the BUFF website. That was an older organization that predates NORM. I did some reading through the material back then, and thought, frankly, it was ridiculous. Actually, I had a good laugh at it. I thought anyone who would do that must be off his lid.

For some reason, I felt compelled to look the matter up in 2007. Well, what I found was a whack of information that educated and informed. After considering it for a while, I decided to give it a go and have not looked back since.

Why did I make the move? Two reasons. First, I am now into my 40s and I felt that I was losing sensation from a glans that was continually exposed. I was scared that at 50, I would need to start popping Viagra or something like that. Second, and just as important, I know that my wife would benefit from it. These two are my prime motivators.

I very much agree with Cobra's first post in this thread. I think he offers some good advice. I would suggest that you educate yourself first. Read through everything that you can get your hands on. Check out Doctors Against Circumcision, the NORM website, and especially, Sex as Nature Intended It by O'Hara and O'Hara. Once you are educated, you can educate your man.

I have said it before, and I will say it again. When it comes to sex, most men do really want to satisfy their woman. If there is a way he can gently be persuaded to improve, most men I believe would take this up.

There may be another tactic too. He needs to know three things. First, he was mutilated as a child. He was abused by the medical community. He was assaulted. This is dead wrong. Second, he can correct that damage. Third, there are tens of thousands of men across the US and Canada that are doing it right now. And, we are not a bunch of nutballs either. You would be quite surprised who is all doing this.

(CG)

Unregistered
February 9th, 2010, 11:51
Thank you guys! :)

Yes, I guess any circed penis is "deficient" in the sense that it's incomplete- I just meant that his penis is working pretty fine for me, but that if it could get BETTER, then why not? :) TLC Tugger is offering a free cone for expectant fathers, and we are expecting, so I'll take advantage of this deal now, in hopes that one day it might be something he's interested in. He's an extremely busy man right now, and I'm not going to put one more thing on his plate at this point in time, but I'll bide my time and educate myself more like you said. :)

Thank you all for answering my question. I'll keep poking around here, and possibly join. I also found out about restoration through the infant intactivist movement which is also a part of the natural/peaceful parenting movement, just so you guys know where to find more women like that. ;)

cobra
February 9th, 2010, 11:58
Speak for yourself. I am a total nutball. Haha!

I stumbled across restoration at a penis pumping website. I wasn't trying to specifically make my penis bigger, using the pumps... I was trying to make my penis more sensitive. At about 31 or 32 yrs old (somewhere in there), I noticed I was quickly losing sensation in my dingaling. I was even having pain during intercourse. I thought the pumping would promote better circulation and erections. What happened was, I noticed the skin on my penis loosening up after a few weeks of use. I was so tight cut that, even soft, I did not have a single wrinkle in the skin of my prick. Suddenly, I had one folded over wrinkle right behind the coronal ridge. I was like, Hmm, that's weird... I wonder if you can grow foreskin...? My dad, uncles and cousins were intact and I was always a bit jealous of them...

I typed foreskin into a web search bar, pulled up a lone restoration link among the hundreds of "get circumcised now" sites and started reading. I researched until my wife got up and then called her over to the computer...

I can imagine what my wife thought. "Yawnnn! Got any coffee made?"

"No... hey, baby, come here and look. I'm growing my foreskin back!"

The tapes and weights didn't look bad at all to me. I had, after all, been subjecting my penis to vacuum in a plastic tube for weeks.

greg_b
February 9th, 2010, 17:45
Some women on another from find it helpful to read this:

http://www.udonet.com/circumcision/vincent/vulnerability_of_men.html

It is written from a why a circ'd guy supports RIC perspective, but focuses on why guys have trouble dealing with being circ'd and may help....

I was not against the idea, so cannot help you with that. However, I did not believe the "hype" about how much better sex was. I fugured it was biased reporting about the benefits. Yeah, right.

The funny thing is that now I am one of those biased reporters of how much better it is. Now I figure it is just that if a guy doesn't have all his equipment, is missing the most imp[ortant part of his equipment, yet sex feels absolutely mind blowing, how could it get better? He just cannot appreciate the new feelings he will enjoy if he has a working foreskin.

That said, I think it is like dieting or drinking. You can help, but the motivation has to come from within him. And there is a very fine line between encouraging vs nagging.

I would suggest simply holding off on the encouragement, instead, keep sharing articles and web sites with information about it as a "wow, read this, pretty interesting, do you think that is right?" type of approach. And feel free to have him PM me if he would like.

Best wishes

siog
February 15th, 2010, 10:41
(...)

he should be interested to read this because of what happens to circumcised mens' penises as they get older; even less sensitivity, more cracks on the glans, and is likely the reason why, in this country, that shite like viagra and lubricants are a multi million/billion dollar industry. so sick, so wrong.


I think he's on to something...

calixto
February 25th, 2010, 13:31
Thanks siog, much appreciated