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The_Color_Black
May 7th, 2011, 22:49
I was gonna hit my friend with this over chat, but maybe its best here:

I try not to let the emotional side of circumcision and restoration hit me too hard. I really don't like feeling depressed and, in fact, I tend to try to let nothing hit me too hard emotionally. I supposed I have “shelled” myself off from the world like that, even before I knew what I know now. But to know that a piece of me is permanently gone, forever, with no hopes of return, taken from me before I could speak or defend myself by some outsider. No not taken, violently cut away from my body as I laid there screaming bloody murder in a soundproof room so that no one can hear my screams. Being surgically altered by a doctor who has a $500+ incentive to cut it off of me, knowing that a piece of me is out there somewhere, decaying, rotting, probably gone, or even worse, in some sort of women's facial cream. A product that benefits from my misery. To top it off, I live in a society where a man is his ability to tolerate pain and his penis.

By knowing the truth, I know I am inferior in comparison to 80%+ of the men in the world . . . I think that is the real source of my pain. I know the truth and there is no escaping it. Life was easier when I was ignorant, and because of that, part of me wants to protect those around me by keeping them ignorant as well. As if this is some secret burden that I can bear and save everyone else from. But whether they know it or not, they are still affected and, perhaps they too would rather be knowledgable than ignorant, just like I wanted to. So that's what the question comes down to, I think.

Do I try to save people the pain of the truth by not telling them anything? Or do I tell them everything hoping that the truth can help set them (and myself) free? And when I do reveal my knowledge, if that is the path I choose to take, will everyone simply look at me like some crazy person? Am I going to be able to deal with that?

Galilleo knew the truth and chose to speak. He said the Earth wasn't the center of the universe. It hurt everyone's ego (especially the church's) at the time and as such, he was thrown in jail and nearly excommunicated. Now we know he was absolutely right. Is this not similar? Did Galilleo have an obligation to share his knowledge, his truth, probably knowing that it would lead to such negative consequences? Do I have such an obligation then? . . . I wish they would hurry up and come out with a viable foreskin regeneration technique. Then I could finally have it back. In the end, it would be my way of being able to tell the doctor to "stick it" and I would have the last word when it comes to my body.

Restoration doesn't recover a lot of the things taken away, in essence, it sometimes feels like a hollow, shallow victory . . .

Speaking of saving others. It has recently occurred to me that our society dictates that men are supposed to live to serve others. In a way, I find this to be a noble principal and I have never had a hard time living this way before. In fact, I have been unable to live otherwise. I sometimes find myself literally trapped in a web of my own good intentions. I could try to start living for myself, but it seems so selfish. Circumcision is at the heart of this. By depriving one of pleasure and making them subconsciously inferior, they become a subconscious slave to somebody, someone, something. In my case, it has been the people around me. I have been a slave to the requests of my mother, of the expectations people put on me, of my friend, of making my brother's life better, and even of my roommate as much as I tend not to like her sometimes. I live to serve others and I'm stuck that way. I've never had a problem with it before, but perhaps I should.

Because of my tight circumcision, I've always had a difficulty identifying girls that I liked. I could like somebody, but after getting an erection in my younger years, I lacked the skin to accommodate it. It seems my surgeon was good at what he did, just like mom wanted, too good if you ask me. Erections used to hurt. Because of my lack of information and exposure to ideas of sex and puberty, the whole other half of life and the half I would spend most of my time in, the only way to get rid of an erection given to me by a girl I liked was to masturbate. Of course, with no slack skin and my ignorance of lubricants, it was a painful business. No wonder I've created so many shells. I was circumcised, one that creates shells on its own. I had puberty hit me like a blind man running into a brick wall and thus on some level rejected the changes happening to me, and I've had to deal with so much physical pain since then.

The pain ended in the summer of 2009, when I regrew a little slack skin. Whereas my penis was able to change though, I'm not sure I was able to. Perhaps its harder to rid oneself of shells than it is to grow completely new skin cells.

More will of course be added later when I find a way to put what I feel into words. It seems it has all hit me again, hard, and I can no longer cry for it. As if my tear ducts themselves are too saddened at the loss of another part of my body to function properly.

Dasher
May 7th, 2011, 23:42
We have had people come on the Grief thread within the past two weeks saying that, aw, circumcision's not so bad. There are so many things that are much worse. It sounds to me like you're not buying that bullshit. That you know better, from personal experience.

And you haven't even touched on circumcision as a matter of our government's public policy. Our government has been pushing circumcision for more than 60 years. Why would a government want to do that? Remember, our government paid, 100% I think, for those flawed African studies which attempted to prove that circumcision helps prevent AIDS -- when the opposite is most likely true.

Have you thought of asking your parents exactly why they had you circumcised? I'm assuming you're not Jewish.

And have you considered doing something to help advance the cause of intactivism? I'm not suggesting any particular activity...

The_Color_Black
May 8th, 2011, 00:24
Dasher,

I'm quickly becoming an avid researcher in the somehow brand new field of circumcision effects. I know first hand the effects of circumcision and the gaping hole of negative energy it has left in my life. And I am fastly learning about how my entire family has been affected, that the problems with our male line are all initiated/made much worse by us being circumcised at birth. People say, "Circumcision isn't all that bad," and I kindly reply with, "Up yours, start doing some objective research and you'll find that circumcision is the worst thing we do to each other and the thing we can honestly do most about." All in all, the world would be so much a better place without it and all we have to do is get people to raise a hand in vote. In comparison to AIDS/HIV or cancer, this is extremely easy, requiring no hard work or research, and yet we simply refuse to do it.

Not to mention, I recently took a theoretical philosophy class and one of the major problems we worked on was determinism and free will. In my essay, I was inclined to go toward determinism. I know that I had no choice in my circumcision, I had my self-determination or free will taken from me. However, I have the free will to restore, even though its not the same thing.

As for my parents, I could only talk to my mom (male line issues stemming from circumcision, no joke). After a long debate with herself, she gave the go ahead to the doctor because of the cleaner/diseases issue. I in no way blame her at all. When confronting her, I could see the guilt in her face and she supports my restoration and research 100%. As I see it, she is the victim just as much as me. I am missing a piece of my body and she is the one who has to feel guilty the rest of her life for it. In reality, it was the doctor who abused his position within our society and culture and who did not do his research in the first place. In the end, he is probably a victim as well, of a circumcising society that taught him absolutely nothing about the foreskin in his days in undergraduate or medical school. I have a public interpretation of a study as to why this is: http://www.anti-circ-student.com/content/relevant-penile-anatomy (It's not copyright infringement because its my work-in-progress website and I cite the original paper).

As for the African studies, yeah, a bunch of literal bullshit. It uses:

males (wooohoo, we qualify here)
volunteers (opps, we don't qualify)
adults (opps, we don't qualify)
who don't generally use protection (opps, I think we don't qualify again)
whose glans' are not yet keratinized (opps, we again don't qualify)
who still have mucosal tissue (again, no qualify for us)
who live in a relatively unsanitary area, until they enter into a study, no doubt
who may still have antibodies/smegma, etc (lastly, we again don't qualify)


Suddently, I don't see how a study in Africa really affects neonatal circ here in America.

We also have the highest rate of violent crimes and domestic/child abuse (don't remember where I read) in the world's developed nations. Neonatal circ is known to cause people to behave more violently.

We have a large percentage of men in the population who cheat due to a lack of sexual pleasure/satisfaction from their wife/partner. In reality, they will forever lack the pleasure/satisfaction they desire because it was cut off with that 15 sq. in. of skin and 20,000 nerve endings.

We have a high ADHD rate compared to other countries, and double that of the UK. Our ratio is 5 males with ADHD to 1 female with ADHD, statistically outside of the range for a sex-linked trait. Neonatal circ is known to increase rates of ADHD in populaces.

I could probably go on, but eventually Ron would start charging me for the server space it takes to write a book on the forums and probably for the bandwidth for all the trolls/flamers who want to say I made all this up and that circ isn't that bad. Again, I kindly remind you of my reply, "up yours."

For those of you who are going to say I made it up, let me go ahead and start my citations. I've noticed I and other intactivists have this odd habit of actually citing our sources and scientific research in all of our "emotionally and ethically charged" arguments. I find it strange that pro-circ's can't ever seem to do the same. :confused:

Psychological impacts of circumcision (http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/)

P.S. You're right if it seems I blame everything on circumcision. The irony is, I place blame there because its actually warranted. But you're right, I'm the bad guy, you're the good guy, we should simplify everything and just go home for dinner :rolleyes:

MelancholyLogic
May 8th, 2011, 03:45
I was gonna hit my friend with this over chat, but maybe its best here . . .

The_Color_Black,

Thank you for writing this. You are incredibly articulate at expressing yourself. I wish you all the best in learning how to manage your pain. Recovery from the blow of learning the truth is a different process for each of us but recovery is an important step towards our working to end the abhorrent practice of circumcision.

The_Color_Black
May 8th, 2011, 04:11
I don't think this form of pain is ever fully recoverable for any of us. It seems to leave a scar, physical, emotional, mental, however you want to perceive it. It has changed us forever and we will never be able to forget it.

However, its possible that it isn't for the worse. I sometimes try to imagine myself if I were to have been intact from birth. Simply put, I can't. Circumcision and restoration have become so integrated in my life and I think I have become a better person for it. I suffered before my realization, but now I can name my pain, even fight against it. And in such a way, in some part, I have empowered myself, given myself free will, as we all have.

The_Color_Black
May 8th, 2011, 13:26
I hate being a violent person. My father was a violent person. Towards myself, my brothers, and my mother. I hate him for that. By the transitive property, I hate being violent and I hate myself for having violent tendencies. I try to live my life as a pacifist instead. Of course, I get taken advantage of for it by others, which in turn causes me to simply grow another shell.

For the pro-circ trolls, my self-hate, paternal-hate, pacifism is entirely circ-related.

Circ makes people more violent through anger and frustration. They naturally take it out on the ones closest to them, the ones who are expected to bring them joy, but it doesn't satisfy them. For my father, that was us. Because I know I carry half of his DNA, I am myself afraid to become just like him and I feel like no one around me (except my mother perhaps) truly understands what that feels like.

Circ is also meant to turn people into subconscious slaves through subconscious inferiority, like I stated before. We become more passive, more afraid of the world. I try everything I can to resist violent temptations and thus, revert to the pacifism instead; simply because I would rather be a used pacifist than a violent abusive. But sometimes it gets to be too much. Sometimes you have to put your foot down and say, "Stop" so loud that you can be heard for miles. And you have to find a way to deal with the problem in a non-violent way that doesn't end up with you being the victim of the situation. That's where the problem lies. What can you do?

I know I could never end up like my father. I'm too caring, too compassionate, too thoughtful. But that subconscious fear is not one that you can easily rid yourself of. It takes time, the support of good friends, and most of all, the ability to trust and have confidence in yourself. In a way, I think restoring my foreskin is a symbolic separation from my father, and the first step toward the trust and confidence.

vicousg42
May 8th, 2011, 16:16
every sexual relationship ive ever been in, except for the one im in currently(it may yet end on this note), has been ended partially or completely due to sexual experience. ive always been aggressive in terms of sex, almost all of the women ive been with have complained about me being too hard on them, or last way too long( prior to the relationship i am in now, ive always had to masturbate to make myself ejaculate). now that i know what i do, thanks to you guys, and others intent on spreading the word about this, i feel like ive been weaponized. thats the word. "weaponized".

an amputated penis is practically a weapon. the aggression in the behavior of the person, the owner of said penis. the very act of intercourse. its uncomfortable for me and my partner. i can last literally hours, before i give up and jack myself off. at that point it isn't even an orgasm, its just an ejaculation. not even a release of emotion, just a stopping point.

i can totally relate to the feelings in this thread. there are dozens, if not hundreds, thousands, or millions right here in this boat with us. we need to spread the word. we have to stop others from being hurt. that includes boys being amputated, and women and girls (lets not forget homosexual partnership too) having negative sexual experiences from this terrible change.