They apoolagized... to shut me up.

[EmbitteredCrusader]

"Im sorry I didnt see the future!"


"Im sorry I cursed you by forcing you to follow jewish law" (Back then I was worried over a line from saint paul, saying that "Anyone who allows himself to become circumcised binds himself to the whole law"


but my parents, they apolagized, thinking that would shut, up, but they were angry/disgusted as they did so... never have they acknowledge the grevious harm they did, or that their subsequent indifference/bewilderment/ "whats wrong with you?" attitude did.

I suppose I wasnt supposed to give a damn id been ritually disfigured.

I cant, do as a prior poster did and dissasociate from them.

As delued and nearsighted as theyh were they have cared for me...

but I wish they'd give me ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of what they've done.

most they'll acknowledge is "no I didnt wait for you to be old enough to decide"

[Them Boots]

Some parents are open-minded enough to accept the full reality of what they did. Unfortunately, others are not and the only thing we can do in that case is choose how we want to deal with/react to it. If religion was the reason, then the latter case will almost always prevail.

[z726]

If you really want them to understand your perspective on this, you'll have to discuss it in a way that they can't brush it off with such a quick response. But if there's a bigger picture here of your parents not taking your opinions seriously, or any other sort of difficulty communicating, you would need to talk with them about that instead.

Even if they do admit they made a wrong decision in the past, what can they do? What's done is done. You say they've already apologized, so accept it. Ask yourself if there's really any need to give them a guilt trip over something that happened so long ago, because that's where you might be headed if you press the issue. Consider that people try to avoid certain subjects for a reason.

[peterpink]

Even if they do admit they made a wrong decision in the past, what can they do?

The least they could do is to offer to pay for any restoration equipment.

They are still in denial because admitting they acted immorally brings shame upon themselves. Humans will do anything to avoid shame. It takes a really mature human to apologize sincerely and show compassion. Because of the depth of emotions involved, do consider writing down how you feel. A document is more difficult for them to dismiss and the effort you have taken to construct it is proof that your feelings are real and not just a passing phase. Best wishes.

[MelancholyLogic]

I cant, do as a prior poster did and dissasociate from them.
That's what I thought for the longest time. But then rather than asking myself what I could do I asked myself what I needed to do.As delued and nearsighted as theyh were they have cared for me...

but I wish they'd give me ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of what they've done.

most they'll acknowledge is "no I didnt wait for you to be old enough to decide"For them to truly acknowledge what they have done would require them to understand and accept how deeply they have harmed you physically and emotionally. For you to truly acknowlege what they have done would require you to do the same. I'm not suggesting that either is easy. Indeed, accepting this reality may be one of the hardest things that one must face.

[LoveShy]

Even if you can get people to feel sorry for you, they'll always think you're overreacting and hurting your own self out of delusion.

Sometimes I do question it, but no. I am not wrong for how bad this hurts me and I am not delusional. They are.

[MelancholyLogic]

Even if you can get people to feel sorry for you, they'll always think you're overreacting and hurting your own self out of delusion.

Sometimes I do question it, but no. I am not wrong for how bad this hurts me and I am not delusional. They are.

Well said.

[intact]

how come jewish girls sacrifice NOTHING of their bodies?

[MelancholyLogic]

how come jewish girls sacrifice NOTHING of their bodies?

As I understand it, it is not the infant who is making the sacrifice. It is the father who must make the sacrifice by putting his prized possession, his son, at risk. Jewish circumcision is a very sexist thing because at the heart it implies that girls are not worth as much as boys which is why the tradition demands that a father sacrifice only sons, not daughters.

[w.o.f.]

Reminds me a bit of how my mom, a neurologist and psychotherapist, reacted when I first confronted her.

She actually tried to give me some psychobabble hogwash, that she understood that it's "quasi-castration in the Freudian sense". Yeah, I kid you not.

It took two minutes of the most livid anger I'm able to express (and that is saying something, for anyone who knows me) to get her to stop deflecting, which of course she selfishly did to avert feeling bad herself.

I don't think I ever got her to fully accept that the damage is an actual, physical one, and in that sense far worse than rape.

Interestingly, she called me up one day years later and asked me to talk the sister of my brother's wife out of allowing her son (whom she had with an Arab fella) to be circumcised. -- But she did that ONLY because she (mom) is a rabid Islamophobe (the type who is also an unquestioning "supporter", not actually of Israel or the Jewish people, but exclusively of Israel's rightwing military regime - as a "stronghold against Islam" -- the Geert Wilders type of not-actually-very-crypto-Nazi false "friend of Israel").

So I simply replied, "Just pretend the guy is Jewish and it should be all fine for you". (And yeah, I also managed to talk the sister of my sister-in-law out of doing it.)

[redwolfbear]

"Im sorry I didnt see the future!"


"Im sorry I cursed you by forcing you to follow jewish law" (Back then I was worried over a line from saint paul, saying that "Anyone who allows himself to become circumcised binds himself to the whole law"


but my parents, they apolagized, thinking that would shut, up, but they were angry/disgusted as they did so... never have they acknowledge the grevious harm they did, or that their subsequent indifference/bewilderment/ "whats wrong with you?" attitude did.

I suppose I wasnt supposed to give a damn id been ritually disfigured.

I cant, do as a prior poster did and dissasociate from them.

As delued and nearsighted as theyh were they have cared for me...

but I wish they'd give me ACKNOWLEDGEMENT of what they've done.

most they'll acknowledge is "no I didnt wait for you to be old enough to decide"

my dad tried that same shit on me at the age of 27 when i confronted him over the matter and asked him why he was too much of a fucken coward to say the first word to me on the matter as i went through my teen years into adulthood his exact words to me on the matter were

its trradition in our society and community and even if ihad told you what was done to you at the time theres nothingn you can do about it now so just forget it ever happened and go on with your life

when i asked him why it was so god damn fucking important to rob me of any choice on the matter as a man.

what i expereinced in that moment when i snapped was pure uncontrollable unstoppable murderous rage man when i went and slugged my dad with a right hook to the chps and followed it up with a hard kick to his balls and asecond hard kick to his tailbone for good measure and then i grabbed him by the hair on his head dragged his sorry ass into the kitchen slapped him real hard across the face with my free hand to make sure he was awake with his eyse open then in as calm a voice as i could manage at the time

i told dad that he had better hope and pray that i never learn the name of the doctor who circumcised me because if i ever do i will hunt that fucker doctor to the ends of the earth and castrate the son of a bitch with a knife

and the whole entire time i was holding a steak knife across the crotch of his pants with the flat smooth non cutting edge of it against the crotch of his jeans just to make it clear to my father at the time that i was one person he did not want to fuck with on the matter at the time

looking back on it all i made it quite clear to my dad in my way that he had betrayed my trust in him as family and to be honest i never did really find out why he never called the cops on my person at the time but i figure i hurt his personel pride more then i did his body at the time.