From an enthusiastic supporter

[mayumi]

Hello everybody,

It's a bit weird as a woman to be posting in such a forum, so I thought for a while about doing it. It is hard for me to understand what any of you are going through, what my man is going through... So I thought I would just toss some ideas out... first of all, because I don't have a penis.
That simple obvious reason makes it difficult for any woman to be fully emphatic with the cause, even if she is supportive or against circumcision. We won't ever understand what it means, how it feels. Some of us girls are very misinformed. I used to think that a circumcised penis would feel more than a uncircumcised one, and from my female body perspective that makes total sense (more direct rubbing against sexual organs makes me feel more aroused). I know now that I was totally mistaken. There's an obvious need for information from both sexes, which will really help your cause. Most of the posts, even in the wives/partners sections are made by yourselves: involve your woman! Let them know and they are more likely to understand and be supportive.
I would consider myself to be very supportive of my man's journey in this, even though I already find his penis to be perfect just the way it is. We joke about it being the magic wand that made us be this close now. So how can I say "Yes honey, change it - you want it that way" without sounding like "Yes honey, CHANGE it - i want it that way"? That to me is the hardest. I am struggling with my own body, and I know it's important to be loved the way it is now even though we're looking to make it better, closer to what we want it to be. Maybe that's why I am more supportive, but it is not so easy: I honestly find his penis perfect already.
I was also worried it would hurt... especially after seeing photos of guys using some devices. How can I not worry about that? He's been using it for some time now, and I am pleased to know it doesn't hurt, that it is safe, and that it is giving results! I am quite excited about the possibilities it will give us, how it will improve our already awesome sex life, and that he will be enjoying when... well, haha, he'll know what I'm talking about... the rest of you will have to imagine it on your dirty minds.
I wish all of you perseverance so you can achieve your goals, and to my man, know that now or when it is all covered, I'll be beside you.

[greg_b]

Thanks for sharing. I can relate to what you say, as my wife felt similarly.

When I brought up restoring, she was concerned that I might damage my equipment. But after I assured her that I was going into it carefully, and could always stop, she was less concerned. And now that she knows how much better it is, and more fun a foreskin is, she is a strong supporter.

And there is a lot of fear mongering and misinformation out there. And illogical arguments. It is no wonder people are confused and unsure.

As far as feeling like his penis is perfect as it is, so asking to change seems two faced, that makes sense, but misses critical points that would stop it from being two faced in my mind.

I knew sex was the absolutely best feeling ever, when I was circumcised. Nothing could make it better. Even reading about the value of foreskin was like, yeah, right, these guys are way too fixated on their penis. Now I am one of those guys.

The difference is that now I know what it feels like. So I would suggest that your thought be re-framed. Right now, you feel like his penis feels and looks wonderful. But you recognize that you do not have any way to compare. You love him as he is, but that does not mean he is perfect in every single detail, right?

And there is a good body of literature that suggests that a foreskin can make a huge difference. Or at least some difference. And those differences may be more important at different ages and stages of your lives together.

I think it is reasonable to read and consider what can improve our lives together. We get older, gain knowledge, gain experience, and are better for it. We gain new skills. Why should sex be any different?

So I would rephrase what you said to say something like: "I love you the way you are, and am committed to our marriage forever, but realize that we will learn and change over time. And I wonder if a foreskin can improve our already great sex life, both now and maybe more in the future, so it is worth considering and/or testing."

Of course, this is all moot, as he is restoring.

Cheers!

[mayumi]

Thanks for the reply. That's why I am glad he invited me (although he might had been joking hehe) to the forum, because I am learning a lot on both the process and the reasons behind it.
I come from a country in which only 8-10% of guys are circumcised, so this whole thing is totally new for me... I honestly never gave it much of a thought before, and well, was definitely in the dark concerning not only the fact that it is possible to restore, but also on its benefits.
I see you're an administrator, so good job there!

[TopHat]

Mayumi- if you don't mind me asking, where do you come from? If I had to guess from your name it would be Japan, but considering you're a man and that's a Japanese woman's name(and I get the impression that far less than 10% of men in Japan are cut), I doubt it.

[StillTugging]

This is a very nice insight. I am going through this without a woman by my side. I did not lose one over this just have not found one/been found yet. So there are times when I ask why I am doing this seeing as how it is going to be unused for the foreseeable future.

However the way that I see it is that it is not about the her that can be it is purely selfish right now. I work out to make me feel better not because I think that if I look a certain way I will get the woman of my dreams. Same with my restoring.

[mayumi]

Mayumi- if you don't mind me asking, where do you come from? If I had to guess from your name it would be Japan, but considering you're a man and that's a Japanese woman's name(and I get the impression that far less than 10% of men in Japan are cut), I doubt it.

Well... I don't know where you got the idea I am a man, but I am not... I thought I was clear about it ("I don't have a penis" could have been a clue, but yeah, these days sometimes that doesn't say anything haha) hehe, sorry if I wasn't. And you're right, it is a Japanese name, but I am from Mexico, and I don't know if it is for cultural or more specifically religious reasons, but it is very uncommon to meet or even hear of a man that has been circumcised over there.

[mayumi]

However the way that I see it is that it is not about the her that can be it is purely selfish right now. I work out to make me feel better not because I think that if I look a certain way I will get the woman of my dreams. Same with my restoring.

I wouldn't call it selfish either: our bodies are our own, and we should be able to do whatever we please with them!

[TopHat]

Well... I don't know where you got the idea I am a man, but I am not... I thought I was clear about it ("I don't have a penis" could have been a clue, but yeah, these days sometimes that doesn't say anything haha) hehe, sorry if I wasn't.

Clearly my reading comprehension has failed me. :eek:

EDIT: Oh wait, I skipped the first post entirely... Gotta not do that.

[StillTugging]

I don't know if it is for {$}cultural or more specifically {%}religious reasons

{$} Well it comes down to the prudishness that there is in America, openly we are very out there but under the surface we are prudes. James Kellogg, founder of the cereal company*, thought that circumcised boys masturbated less (opposite is true btw). Since the Victorian Age was all the rage this meant anything that reduced someone's sexual desire was in. Because of xenophobia, and other issues of the day, his ideas did not travel much outside of the USA. Of course there are other factors thrown in there but the main reason that is persists is the mentality of "well my dad was like that and I am too so should he".

On top of there there is little to no discussion on the subject. This is because penises, and vaginas for that matter, are never talked seriously (at least from where I am from). You can make off color jokes but that is about it.

{%} Now I am going to say this and this is just something that I have generally come across. People are stupid, and ignorant. I have had the circumcision talk with many people and I like to know what I am talking about. I also went to a Catholic high school where we were taught about it from a religious stand point. My first year there the religion teacher (very pro circ) said that in the second council that founded the beliefs of Christians everywhere, not just Catholics mind you this was before any schism, decided that no Gentile follower of Jesus should be circumcised, unless they converted to being Jewish first**. Now I have been told point blank that circumcising is something that all Christians should do, when I pointed out the very clear oversight in their understanding (with research) I received a stare and then was told "you know nothing about being Christian, and no one likes a smart ***".

and that is why so many Americans are cut then in other places

*He also believed a bland breakfast would also kill urges, so he invented cereal (this makes me laugh)

**This was because the Bries (hope I got that right, Jewish rite of circumcision) was the Jews contract with God. This marked you as a Jew. Unless you where willing to take on all the responsibilities of that contract it was viewed as slapping the Jews, as a whole, in the face. Since the Jews were viewed as our theological brethren it was a no no.