My son is circumcised and I hate it.

[1madmommy]

Hi everyone, I don't know if this is the proper place to put this or not.
I really need to vent; no one in my family cares.

I have an infant son and he is unfortunately circumcised. Every time I change his diaper, I get so upset and disgusted. I didn't want this for him and even told my doctor (who ended up performing his circumcision anyway) that it should be his choice. Even after telling them I didn't want him circumcised, the nurse got my consent when I was half asleep (she talked to me like the procedure had been done already so I stupidly signed) and his father had gone to get breakfast. I feel like such a terrible mother.

My partner keeps telling me it's okay, no serious harm was done (except now our son has meatal stenosis), and my mom is actually somewhat pro-circ. But I hate what was done to him and I hate that I allowed them to hurt him. I just feel so mad that this happened. I had never seen a circumcised baby, only intact ones. It just boils my blood to think that my son went through so much suffering so the doctor/hospital could make over $400. It's even more insulting that I told them it should be his choice and they took advantage of the fact that I was suffering from lack of sleep (due to the construction work being done 30 feet from my window, nurses coming in every two hours, and pain from the birth) and possible influence the pain meds had on me (I was a little loopy even a couple days after we left the hospital). I didn't realize I would have had to actually be really vigilant to have my child left whole.

I think the worst part about it is that I know he remembers it. He refused to look me in the eye for almost a month after it was done, and now sometimes he acts angrily and aggressively toward me. He also gets stressed very easily and gets agitated to the point of having coughing fits. I've never seen a baby act like that before. He adores his father though, who actually wanted to have him circumcised! I guess it's only fair though. I was the one he knew most, and I was the one they got to sign the paper.

When he gets older, I will beg for forgiveness and definitely tell him about foreskin restoration. Maybe (hopefully) regeneration will be an option for him by then. And if I am ever blessed with another child and it is a boy, I am putting signs all over the room and his bassinet saying "DON'T CIRCUMCISE" and "NO CIRC SOLICITATION".

Thanks for taking the time to read this. I really had to get that off my chest. I don't mind if any of you feel the urge to bash me. Nothing in the world could make me feel worse about this than I already do.

[asdfjklmeh1]

I'm so sorry that the nurses took advantage of you in that situation.

Have you considered contacting ARC Law group? The medical facility administered those forms to you while sleep deprived, under the influences of pain medication, and under false pretenses when that nurse misled you like that. Furthermore, the fact that you had made your wishes known so clearly earlier and the fact that they continued to solicit that unnecessary surgery afterwards is malicious, and harassment.

I don't know what state you are from, but I do know that in most states it is illegal for medical professionals to solicit unnecessary surgeries. Their repeat visits and even bringing in the form would legally count as such solicitation. Heck, it might even count as harassment. Winning a case could set a legal precedent to stop this solicitation and thereby protect children in the future.

Furthermore, the fact that your son suffered from a circumcision complication (meatal stenosis) puts more weight behind you if you decided to litigate.

I would say contact these people. Email them, send them your story, and see what they think. Ask them if they think that you have a case.

If you successfully litigate, your case could very well be the domino it takes to stop hospitals from soliciting this at the harassing levels that they already do, prevent harm to children, and protect weary families from such medical harassment.

Legality aside, I recommend checking out this form and having it ready if you have another son.

http://www.noharmm.org/Noncircinstruc.htm
http://www.noharmm.org/Noncircform.htm

I am so sorry that this happened. That hospital took advantage of both you, and your baby, and I hope that the both of you are doing well.

[Aspie]

You are a victim so there is no reason for us to bash you. My suggestion beyond legal action (I highly recommend legal action) is to set up a restoration fund (think of it kinda like a collage fund) for your son.

[peterpink]

This is sickening. From what you have said, you have a very good case for litigation. Take asdfjklmeh1's advice. Any financial recompense you get could be put into a fund for your account when he is older.

[vook]

I'm really sorry to read this

I think your son is acting "weird" with you due YOUR feel of guilty, not in fact the operation

Anyway, at least you know about restauration and you can let him know as soon as you think it's necesary, so <if he wats> he can start restoring at an early age and actually enjoy a full sexual life

[1madmommy]

I had contacted them a while ago and they referred me to Mr. David Llewellyn. The problem is, apparently I live in an area where the circ rate is very high, and people around here are very conservative and stuck in their ways. It makes winning a case like this really difficult. And it doesn't help my son now. Money is no substitute for a whole body, nor is it for the agony he went through and the loss of trust he has in me.

I was on pain medication after the birth, because I wanted to give birth naturally, and because some things the OB did actually made the birth more painful for me. The OB and nurses did quite a lot of things I didn't approve of or consent to during my labor and after my son's birth, which I initially forgave them for, but thinking back, they probably didn't take my wishes seriously because I was a young mother and didn't need to be taken seriously, even with all the research I did, and what I knew about my own body.

What strikes me as odd was that after I made my wishes known on the first day about not having my son circumcised, no one had asked. It was after the end of the second day when I said we were going to stay another day because I hadn't been getting much sleep (about three 1-1/2 to 2 hour naps a day) and was still in pain that I was solicited. I have a feeling they did this to charge for circumcision, and extra time in the hospital. We ended up staying about 12 hours longer than we intended to.

Also, by half-asleep, I mean the nurse came in about an hour after I fell asleep and had me sign the consent form. I didn't even remember signing the form at first, but reading my and my son's medical records jogged my memory.

Will that non-circumcision form really work? Because my baby's father already agreed if we ever got pregnant again, he would try and make sure they don't get me to sign consent forms I don't agree with, especially one pertaining to circumcision. But then again, they had gotten me to sign the form during one of the few times he was not in the room.

[peterpink]

Unfortunately someone has to be first. Social change comes about when ordinary people do something. At the very least a formal complaint made to the hospital authority might wake their ideas up a bit. I would also complain to the members of staff, Ob etc individually by letter. If you could get a friendly lawyer to help you with a letter it might carry more weight, without costing the earth. In my country we have a medical complaints authority which acts on complaints of this sort. Do you have anything similar?

[slickskin]

Originally Posted by peterpink

Unfortunately someone has to be first. Social change comes about when ordinary people do something. At the very least a formal complaint made to the hospital authority might wake their ideas up a bit. I would also complain to the members of staff, Ob etc individually by letter. If you could get a friendly lawyer to help you with a letter it might carry more weight, without costing the earth. In my country we have a medical complaints authority which acts on complaints of this sort. Do you have anything similar?

Some degree of deviance is always in order for social change. The worst thing that we can do is stay silent.

[admin]

Originally Posted by 1madmommy

they referred me to Mr. David Llewellyn. The problem is, apparently I live in an area where the circ rate is very high, and people around here are very conservative and stuck in their ways. It makes winning a case like this really difficult. And it doesn't help my son now.

You do need to assume he'll want to sue when he's 18, so protect his capability by keeping careful records.

A "jury of his peers" then may look much different from today's conservative community. Besides, a lot of people interpret conservative as NOT intervening unless needed. A smart lawyer could tap into that sentiment.

Originally Posted by 1madmommy

It was after the end of the second day when I said we were going to stay another day because I hadn't been getting much sleep (about three 1-1/2 to 2 hour naps a day) and was still in pain that I was solicited. I have a feeling they did this to charge for circumcision, and extra time in the hospital. We ended up staying about 12 hours longer than we intended to.

Indeed, studies show that the neonatal stay for circumcised babies is on average 0.25 days longer.

Originally Posted by 1madmommy

Will that non-circumcision form really work?

If you write a letter to the hospital president and ethics panel before admission explaining that you don't expect to be solicited for unnecessary surgery and that in particular circumcision or forced retraction will result in a lawsuit, I'd bet the whole staff will be on notice during your entire visit.

[Colorado]

So Sorry to hear this story.
Absolutely awful!
My wife and I will be having our son at home to avoid the pressure to have him mutilated. If in an emergency situation arises and we have to go to the hospital I will carry my handgun and be prepared to defend my life or the lives of my family.

Please read the first half of this Book by John Robbins
http://www.johnrobbins.info/other-bo...ng-our-health/

Like reexamining circumcision...it questions the current medical activity involving the birthing of children in the modern hospital setting.

What ever happened to "DO NO HARM...." ?

Colorado and Colorado's Wife