A brief future history of male genital mutilation

[w.o.f.]

In the early twenty-first century, with the maturation of the internet, individual restorers began organizing and networking. Better and better restoration devices were created by inventive folk, and the intactivist movement began eroding the denial and myths formerly held by the majority of people.

Around 2020, tissue regeneration methods finally became widely available, and some closeted foreskin fans among the political establishment rapidly spread the word across brothels, swinger clubs and cottages throughout the country. Also, in Congress.

In 2025, U.S. federal law was amended by unanimous act of Congress, to finally afford males equal protection from genital mutilation.

By another act of Congress in 2040, Mt. Rushmore was officially renamed Mt. Feelmore and the Presidents' heads replaced with a giant sculpture of a sex orgy (conservative holdouts in the Senate successully blocked the initial proposal to depict a winking Jesus in the middle of the sculpture flipping the bird).

They all fucked each others' brains out happily ever after.

Later, the sun blew up and everybody died. The end.

[JimOZ6]

You might have a point about Rushmore considering its rate of erosion.

[slickskin]

This sounded almost reasonable until you talked about remodeling Mount Rushmore, but I liked how you developed the joke. The ending made me crack up.

[frizzen]

That's cute.
I misread the title and expected brief history from the PAST. Stuff like:

Urrrggghhh the caveman is out with hunting party and has a woolly mammoth land on him, crushing his head, he "recovers" and due to the brain damage decides to hack off foreskin with a piece of flint. He tries to sell other cavemen on the idea, he is violently killed by the tribe for the good of mankind.

Egyptians, while remaining intact themselves, decide to disfigure their slaves and cause sexual frustration to them as a means of control. It works, sexual frustration means work production is up. The slaves mistakenly add it into their culture because "we've always done it this way."

John Kellogg the quack is sitting around running his asylum and having a hard time thinking of new ways to hurt people under his care...


In your future history, you forgot the popularity rise of the heavily armed family groups that protect the new family member around the clock until they leave the hospital. My goal is a couple guys with rifles standing guard for my son.

[w.o.f.]

Originally Posted by frizzen

My goal is a couple guys with rifles standing guard for my son.

No kidding. If I were based in the US, I'd at least arrange for a reliable friend to be there whenever I can't. (Which could make kind of an awesome subplot in a movie, a lá Short Cuts (dat title...) or Magnolia.)

[JimOZ6]

Originally Posted by frizzen

That's cute.
I misread the title and expected brief history from the PAST. Stuff like:

Urrrggghhh the caveman is out with hunting party and has a woolly mammoth land on him, crushing his head, he "recovers" and due to the brain damage decides to hack off foreskin with a piece of flint. He tries to sell other cavemen on the idea, he is violently killed by the tribe for the good of mankind.

Egyptians, while remaining intact themselves, decide to disfigure their slaves and cause sexual frustration to them as a means of control. It works, sexual frustration means work production is up. The slaves mistakenly add it into their culture because "we've always done it this way."

John Kellogg the quack is sitting around running his asylum and having a hard time thinking of new ways to hurt people under his care...


In your future history, you forgot the popularity rise of the heavily armed family groups that protect the new family member around the clock until they leave the hospital. My goal is a couple guys with rifles standing guard for my son.

Hmmmm, is THIS why concealed carry is on the rise????