WHY can't i still get over it?

[Lyle Croft]

I'm still MAD no matter how many times i post it here or tell anyone i feel violated and abused...

I'm 15 i do my thing and look at you know what....and BAM i LOVE foreskin but i feel so deprived and violated in many ways. PLUS in the gay teen chat, most of the guys are from the U.K. or u.s. or anyway and the majority are intact which makes me feel even MORE worse about myself.

Low self esteem + circumcision = sadness?

[Jamie]

Although I'm not gay, I am in the UK. You can be proud to have such an advantage over most on here because of your age. I would love not to be circumcised, but I would also love the chance to be 15 again so I could get restoring. How is your progress bytheway? (Obviously not showing pictures)

You just concentrate on enjoying your youth, and you can still restore. This will all become less taboo as years go by, so dont worry about being ashamed of it.

[Lyle Croft]

Originally Posted by Jamie

Although I'm not gay, I am in the UK. You can be proud to have such an advantage over most on here because of your age. I would love not to be circumcised, but I would also love the chance to be 15 again so I could get restoring. How is your progress bytheway? (Obviously not showing pictures)

You just concentrate on enjoying your youth, and you can still restore. This will all become less taboo as years go by, so dont worry about being ashamed of it.

laziness lol :L i got my life so i'm still TRYING to fit it

[Jeremiah]

Originally Posted by Lyle Croft

Low self esteem + circumcision = sadness?

Awareness of my circumcision has led to low self esteem; especially feeling inferior to men from other countries that are not circumcised (such as the UK). It feels like a piece of my manhood is missing; knowing that I won't be able to pleasure a woman as much as someone who is intact.

Don't force yourself to get over it. It will come in time.

[admin]

Originally Posted by Jeremiah

It feels like a piece of my manhood is missing; knowing that I won't be able to pleasure a woman as much as someone who is intact.

That never occurs to me during sex. I think: "My restored slack is giving her quite a thrill. I sure wish I felt even more."

[Jamie]

Originally Posted by admin

That never occurs to me during sex. I think: "My restored slack is giving her quite a thrill. I sure wish I felt even more."

That's what's i thought. At the exact same time I learned entirely what was done to me, I also learned I could re-grow. I couldn't imagine my pain if I believed I would stay this way for life. The restored foreskin will likely pleasure her in the near-enough same way as an intact guy. Am I right? It still doesn't compensate for the trauma and valuable years of loss though

[z726]

Originally Posted by Lyle Croft

I'm still MAD no matter how many times i post it here or tell anyone i feel violated and abused...

I'm 15 i do my thing and look at you know what....and BAM i LOVE foreskin but i feel so deprived and violated in many ways. PLUS in the gay teen chat, most of the guys are from the U.K. or u.s. or anyway and the majority are intact which makes me feel even MORE worse about myself.

Low self esteem + circumcision = sadness?

Then don't talk about it like that. You can't change what happened to you, but you can relegate these past events to the history books and not let them bother you anymore. What's important now is what you've got, and what you're doing with it - specifically, restoring.

[Matadroskin]

Lyle, you ask "Why can't i still get over it?" Well, it's because of the nature of what happened to you. Genital mutilation isn't something we can just "get over". It's a horrible thing to have happen to you, and the pain can't be shoved aside like something insignificant.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling grief. In my own experience, expecting yourself to "get over it" will just make you feel even worse. I wish I hadn't spent so much time telling myself that I shouldn't feel so depressed over this. Pain is part of the healing process, and it takes time to really start feeling better.

[peterpink]

Originally Posted by Matadroskin

Lyle, you ask "Why can't i still get over it?" Well, it's because of the nature of what happened to you. Genital mutilation isn't something we can just "get over". It's a horrible thing to have happen to you, and the pain can't be shoved aside like something insignificant.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling grief. In my own experience, expecting yourself to "get over it" will just make you feel even worse. I wish I hadn't spent so much time telling myself that I shouldn't feel so depressed over this. Pain is part of the healing process, and it takes time to really start feeling better.

I agree. Grief is not something you 'get over'. You have to 'work through' grief - whatever that means. It is different for everyone. For me it was writing down an account of what happened and and how I felt about it, communicating my story to my wife and two of my three (adult) children and restoring. (Restoring is a very powerful activity, although it can backfire in that you learn more about the damage.) In the process I changed from being purely a victim to being an intactivist. I still have some issues to work through, will never feel whole and some things (not circ.) make me cry which never happened before. I find I still lack the high level of interest I previously had in my hobbies etc. However, by doing the above things, over several years I found the pain diminished and I was take a more active role in life, even if much of the time I am just reacting to things rather than initiating. Turn the anger into activity and do things.