Why does it hurt so much - Men "happy" with forced circumcision

[mark85]

Why does it hurt so much when I think about how other men are fine with being circumcised? Personally, I don't think I have any authority to declare other men deluded, nor do I think I have the right to say they should feel a different way about themselves, it's their body. When I think about all the men who are circumcised, and they're considering themselves normal, it hurts. It feels like they're trying to invalidate me, trying to tell me that what happened to me was right when I know it wasn't. Like they're trying to tell me that they're whole, and if I don't feel whole, it's my fault.

[scotty]

Originally Posted by w.o.f.

Do you believe anyone is being honest with you and themselves when they claim they're A-OK with having been genitally reduced against their will? It doesn't hurt me so much as scare me, to see the power of circ trauma run amok in weak-minded men.

Yes, they are being honest. Some people are happy being ignorant and going through life with blinders on. They don't realize, or choose not to acknowledged, what they've lost. That level of detachment is frightening to me as well.

All you can do is try to educate them, hope the decide to think independently and come to a better understanding. This is our passion, not theirs.

[mark85]

Originally Posted by w.o.f.

Do you believe anyone is being honest with you and themselves when they claim they're A-OK with having been genitally reduced against their will? It doesn't hurt me so much as scare me, to see the power of circ trauma run amok in weak-minded men.

I don't know, I'm not a mind reader, but I do believe there are plenty of men that are okay with it, whether they're fooling themselves, or they're just ignorant and don't really think critically about it, or they just genuinely don't care because they're satisfied with what they have, I don't know. I don't have the authority or the right to say they're all traumatized, or in denial, or whatever.

It bothers me though, it bothers me that people are so approving of it. It's like if there was a culture that systematically raped people when they were young, and everyone just accepted it as some necessary coming of age ritual and not rape, but there was a small number that recognized that it was rape, and had to walk around seeing people fine with what happened to them. It's like everyone was invalidating your feelings about it.

*For the record, I'm not trying to compare the trauma of rape and circumcision

[peterpink]

The vast majority of men have no idea of what they have lost, so why should they be upset? They consider that circumcision was 'done for them' rather than 'done to them'. Also, humans want to belong to their tribe. Having body markings etc helps with the tribal identity. A good metaphor is to consider people born blind. They never miss being able to see because they have never known it. Something else I have noticed is that the men most vocal about being happy with their circumcised state are usually quite young, or men who had a medical problem and were circumcised as adults. Ask men again when they are in their forties or fifties.

[mark85]

As far as my question goes, does anyone have any possible explanations why it bothers me so much?

[mark85]

You're right, I guess I just don't know why it's tormenting me to the extent that it is.

[Purist]

The one that bothers me the most is, "well, I simply choose not to dwell on things I can't do anything about" --with a smug, "I suggest you do the same" implied, if not explicitly stated -- the condescending implication being that you're a weak beta loser with some irrational, misplaced fixation over a trivial aspect of the body most likely caused by deep self-esteem issues.

GRRRRR

We men can be our own worst enemies.

Thanks for bringing this up.

[slickskin]

Most men are fine with circumcision because they are unaware of the damage. Also, when men are satisfied with their sex lives they don't feel that they've lost anything, and have less of a reason to be angry.

I don't think men are wrong if they don't have a problem with being circumcised. Frankly I'm happy that these men don't feel as miserable about it as I do. What would be most reasonable is if boys would be left intact until they can make an informed decision for themselves. If an adult man decides that he wants to be circumcised then so be it, but don't force it on others.

[Cajoboy]

The Best thought on here so far is that they feel it was done "for" them not "to" them. Someone did them a favor. They probably believe what misguided women may say like they might as well do it while they are young, kind of a get it over with now attitude.

If that doesn't make your blood boil......

[Them Boots]

I've known people in the past, usually elderly, who will during the course of a discussion do something like this:

If I were to say something like "smoking leads to a higher risk of (whatever illness)" they would respond in a very condescending tone with "well I've smoked for 40 years and it's never bothered me," implying that because they haven't experienced what you are discussing, this is proof that you are completely wrong. I had this happen one time where this old geezer said pretty much that statement then went into a typical smoker's extended hacking fit that ended with him gagging and almost puking on the porch. I chewed my cheeks ragged trying to keep from laughing my ass off.

Those who are happy being cut don't bother me, it's those who think that because they're happy, that's proof to them that the whole intactivist movement is just a bunch of bullshit and they refuse to even consider the possibility that any other point of view or reality exists other than their own.