2009-01-30 The Frisky.com - Doiní It With Dr. V: The Uncut Man
Some good press for intact men. Some good advice for inexperienced women.
2:00PM, Friday January 30th 2009
This weekís Dr. V was inspired by a letter I received from a lady who just started dating a guy who wasnít circumcised. She wanted to take their love life higher, but just wasnít sure how to lift the darn thing with all that extra material. Rest assured, my friend, all penis models work the same way. If youíre sexy to them, theyíll be sexy to you! However, an uncut penis does require extra care. So, here are some tips for naked time with a man who escaped the snip-snip. And keep those letters coming, you know I love to read your smut too! To ask me a question, email firstname.lastname@example.org.
HOW IT HAPPENED TO ME
He was foreign. He was oh-so-fine. He was a sensitive musician who was considerate enough to warn me that he, like his solo jam, was uncut. Before he let me unzip his pants, he rattled off a disclaimer, like he was a drug commercial and his ding-a-ling was the side effect. Apparently he had freaked some poor girl out on tour. While he did make me scream, it wasnít because of the sight of his uncircumcised penis. My first hunk with a hoodie rocked my world!
WHO IS TO BLAME
Religion is mostly to blame, and I promise this is the first and last ďDoiní ItĒ where Iíll use it as an excuse, but itís true. Both my people, the Jews, and Muslims practice ritual circumcision as it is commanded in their laws. A third of the men in the world are circumcised, 70% of that number are Muslim. Jews are less than .02% of the worldís population, so we donít crack that statistic at all. But, if only Israeliís and Palestinians would cross those kind of swords, maybe they would see just how much we all have in common!
Foreskin is like a hood at the head of the penis...rather, a turtleneck. It makes a penis look more like a sea sponge than a rocket ship. So, if it looks like your man hasnít skimmed some extra skin off the top, he isnít cut. Often times, once heís erect, you wonít be able to tell if heís got a sheath.
WHAT TO DO
Check under the hood! If youíre going to head down there, make sure the man hasnít spent a week stewing in the same skinny pants sitting in a tour bus and sweating it out at rock clubs. Or, if he has, take him to the shower so he can clean that peen before you get down Ďní dirty! Uncircumcised penises need that extra scrub, so lift up the foreskin and get some scent-free soap under there! Otherwise it can get a little crusty with Smegma bacillusóaka dick cheese, the waxy white substance secreted by the penis glands. Also, an uncircumcised penis is 10 times more likely to get a bacteria build-up known as a urinary tract infection, but only 12% of men will ever have a UTI anyway. And if you wash up, there is no difference in smell or taste. If, after soap and water, it still reeks, appears red, irritated or just plain different in general, well, then it might just be time to show it to a doctor. So, there you have it. While foreskin does require extra maintenance, what could be more important than taking care of that peter piper?!
WHERE I WENT WRONG
As I mentioned, Iím a big bagel-loving, Bat Mitzvahed Jew. And while Iím proud to be part of my people, Iím still going to share my opinion. Iíve watched while my fellow Heebs nip the tip of all our boys, and I have to say, if thatís the mark of my tribe, we need a new symbol. Itís been 5000+ years! Personal hygiene has made great strides over the past few millenia and weíre not wandering the desert aimlessly anymore. Back in the day, it was probably good to get it out of the way. But itís 2009 and we have showers. And you know, if the shoe were on the other foot and someone even tried to touch a baby vajayjay, we would all go crazy on them. So, while there have been medical studies that say it is healthier to circumcise guys, claims that it helps a man last longer in the sack, that is helps prevent erectile dysfunction, and stylistas who say it looks better that way, it still seems like a form of genital mutilation to me.
Supposedly, one of the bonuses of being with a circumcised guy is they wonít blow their load before youíve had enough fun with their gun. Ha! We all know thatís just a bold-faced lie.
Sigmund Freud suggested that there was a link between manís fear of castration and circumcision. But what doesnít that dude freak out about?! Oddly enough, most parents in the U.S. circumcise their sons to save him from feeling shame. While foreskin is something men are born with, itís gotten the stigma of being strange in our culture. So, parents, knowing kids and lovers can be cruel, donít want their boys to stand out or feel embarrassed by their memberóapparently, that kind of torture sounds more traumatic than a lilí olí snip. Just like my own foreign fling, a lot of uncircumcised guys in this country do feel weird because their schlong doesnít look like the standard Made In USA models. Their manhood isnít metrosexual. But if they went into any locker room in any other country, what theyíd find is that they are actually in the majority! So, thereís no shame! Penises are magical no matter what.
1. Play: Feel free to gently play with the foreskin with your tongue and fingers. It feels good, or so I hear! Techniques like circling inside the skin with your tongue and massaging the head with your fingers can work wonders. However, do not go acting like a Hoover vacuum on an uncircumcised guy. Some guys with the sheath feel it is too sensitive to the touch and they might ask you to avoid that area entirely. Itís not you, itís them. So listen to your partner!
2. Protect Yourself: According to the World Health Organization and our own CDC, uncircumcised penises are in a slightly higher risk group for contracting some STDs like syphilis and HIV. Bottom line, a little extra skin wonít protect you. So, use a condom!
3. PTSD: Even though many find a nipped tip to be the most attractive, that doesnít give you the right to diss his dick. After all, you wouldnít like to be told youíre not the prettiest girl in the room! If you have a preference for the cut, keep it to yourself or you could send him into a tailspin of insecurities. Be a lady and love your manóall of him!
4. Slick Rick: During sex, when the foreskin pulls back, it actually reduces friction, making it so thereís more cushion for the pushiní! If it isnít moving back on itís own for sexy times, keep reading-Ö
5. Push Back: Some guysí foreskins donít pull back all the way naturally and youíll need to move it away from the high-traffic area tip, but be sure to ask him first if itís okay. Then carefully slide it back a bit. Donít be too forceful or youíll push things too far past the head.
6. T-Pain: Some uncircumcised guys have pain during sex because their foreskin wonít fall back. This condition is called phimosis. There are a couple of options for treatment, from creams to a small cut. So, if your man hurts in a bad way during sex, then itís time for him to see a urologist.
When the soldier in his pants salutes, you really canít tell if it is circumcised or uncircumcised. Now, Iíve only been with two au natural knobs and I got the feeling that their tips were more sensitive. They seemed to enjoy blow jobs more, but didnít care as much about the deep throat. They were more responsive to tonguing the tip. But to be fair, Iíve never seen a circumcised guy be disappointed by a beej either. Plus, there is absolutely no scientific evidence to support my anecdotal theory. And, some uncircumcised guys complain their tip is too sensitive to the touch. Ouch! So, in other words, each one is different.
1. At its peak in the Ď70s, 91% of American men were snipped at the tip. There has been a sharp decline and now roughly 65% of boy babies born in the USA are circumcised today.
2. In 1422, the Catholic Church condemned circumcision as a mortal sin.
3. Inside the Ancient Egyptian Temple of Khonspekhrod, a circumcision scene was carved on the northern wall.
4. At the turn of the Twentieth Century, circumcision was seen as a way to prevent masturbation.
5. Nowadays, circumcision is the most common in the United States, Canada, and the Middle East.
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