Sexual orientation

[Joseph]

Not so sure the asshole can be compared to the foreskin, though.

It's not like you can cut out your asshole if you want to appease a partner that finds it 'repulsive.'

[1Taoist]

No, but you can bleach your asshole.

[1Taoist]

I've read some of the sexual revolution article and I empathize with the intra-gay-culture problem for men who don't like anal sex. I didn't realize that even the gay community itself put pressure on members who didn't like anal. My original post reflects this, yet I'm not gay so I really had no idea I was reflecting an actual discrimination within the gay community itself.

I wasn't claiming my friend isn't gay, nor that he disliked anal sex- he has anal sex with men, only it is that he doesn't receive it. I think that's a major distinquishing point between my question and the premise these authors are promoting: they don't like anal at all. My friend seems to have no regard for someone who has to take his cock up his ass, while enjoying the act from his side vociferously, which is what I find suspect.

If one just leaves it at the idea that hey, they don't like anal...fine, they shouldn't be told they aren't really gay, just as straights who like anal shouldn't be told they're gay.

What these authors have done is construct an argument that is based on the historical and biblical illigitimacy of anal sex altogether, thus implying that all those gays who DO practice this are...sick.

Doesn't do much for gay identity, or in fact undermines it for their own personal legitimization purposes, which is self-serving.

[Borneo]

Originally Posted by Joseph

Not so sure the asshole can be compared to the foreskin, though.

It's not like you can cut out your asshole if you want to appease a partner that finds it 'repulsive.'

I don't know about that. I've had a few guys who don't know how to do it properly. They just JAB IT IN!

[Borneo]

I wasn't claiming my friend isn't gay, nor that he disliked anal sex- he has anal sex with men, only it is that he doesn't receive it. I think that's a major distinquishing point between my question and the premise these authors are promoting: they don't like anal at all. My friend seems to have no regard for someone who has to take his cock up his ass, while enjoying the act from his side vociferously, which is what I find suspect.

This is the crux of my opinion of your friend. I may be way off base, since I don't know him, and it's pretty presumptuous to apply personality flaws to people you don't know, but for the sake of argument, this leads to a certain POV I need to express.

I'm personalizing this as a matter of conjecture, not that I believe your friend is this person... His problem isn't the top position he is taking. There are many gay guys who don't get into receiving it. That's not uncommon, and it's perfectly natural.

What is a problem is where it comes to the "Alpha male" psychology. There's an element of respect that he seems to be unwilling to give to his partners. That those who bottom or do to him what he refuses to reciprocate are a matter of what it means to be a man, as opposed to just his preference for being a top and liking to take charge of the sex.

If this is true, then in my opinion, which won't buy you a cup of coffee, the only other men he intellectually and emotionally respects are those who see this idealized manliness the way he does. And that's a dilemma for him, because those men he does respect are just like him, and are thus not capable of sexually giving him what he wants. The only people who can give him gratification are those he finds fault with for not making the grade of being a "man" in his criteria. So sex with a partner that he truly respects as an equal will be a non starter. His ideal partner won't suck, get fucked, or kiss. Neither will he. So they watch David Letterman instead. Those men who will give him what he wants, he doesn't respect as equals. You can't form a lasting relationship without many things, but mutual respect is one big factor. If it isn't there, then the relationship is doomed.

[1Taoist]

Cobra, you relate to a lot of this I'm sure- they completely deny the anus and rectum as erogenous at all, and claim it's sexual "stimulation" is somehow a mental trick, not physically real but merely a psychological stimulus of dominance and pain. It's interesting...as I've said, the anal sexuality is a stimulator of the brain stem, which is the raw link to the physical body. It is anything but a mental fetish, but what it does do is overwhelm the mind with physical power, causing it to black out (with stimulus that is below thinking).

My wife, for example, likes the physical stimulus of anal digital play and butt plugs, but has mental hangups that impede her initially from enjoying such pleasure. Once she is turned on, she likes it. Physically she enjoys it, but mentally, she doesn't enjoy the idea.

[jeff71913]

Originally Posted by Borneo

I don't know about that. I've had a few guys who don't know how to do it properly. They just JAB IT IN!

That's another thing about being uncut. It goes in a lot better and doesn't hurt as much. When it comes to anal there is a huge difference between cut and uncut.

jeffrey

[1Taoist]

Borneo, excellent post. Thanks. Well-said and I agree with your points. You've addressed this issue totally.

As far as this frot site stuff, which cobra side-tracked me onto and which I've rejected quite soundly...I still read and respect people thinking things thru. What I'm saying is...somewhere buried in all their retoric is something very interesting and quite possibly movable. Some of what they say is persuading me based on some personal views/suspicions I've had for a long time. I guess what I mean is that although some things in life may be a little "off" (anal sex?), it doesn't mean we don't do them. Like alcohol isn't really "good for you", or cigars/pot-smoking aren't really either, or porterhouse steaks, or infidelity. But...we still do them to some extent. What I'm saying is living life "the right way" is not only suspect, but living it "a little wrong" once in a while is a counter-intuitive strategy for existence period. None of us should really be here at all, but despite all our "wrongs" we are here. Life is imperfect.

I want to say I think there is some validity to the premise presented by these men. But it's rules and limitations are invalidating what is actually valid. Strange as that sounds.

I am impressed by human sexuality. But I am more so by how easily it can be badly done. And how wrongly it can go.

I ask that more people read some of this site's writing. The most stunning conviction is their stern conviction of the ultimate failure of anal sex, historically throughout man's history. No one is truly "ok" with infidelity, yet it happens because of the contradictory and complex nature of our stability. Despite our common belief that infidelity leads to the ruin of relationships, in many it is actually a corrective "wrong". In some cases it's a "break it to fix it" scenario. Odd as that sounds, I believe it to be true. We can't know right without knowing wrong,

Anal sex can be done in a responsible way, but most can not approach this. That's why it's easier to just tell people not to. It's a fine line of experience. Much of what we "get off on" is "wrong" or not the rosy ideal of romance. That's the odd thing about sex. It's tendency is toward "the dirty and kinky", but many are able to find good wholesome sex without such prescriptions. And that's good, I think.

I think these guys may have a prescription for more functional sex, homo as it is, but the same can be found in hetero. There's lots of prescriptions for healthy, monogamous sex between heteros. Doesn't mean the actual recipe doesn't include a few ingredients that are not that good for us.

[cobra]

Sorry, this looks more erotic and far less dicey...





...than this...


http://www.threesixes.com/gross_pics...cuseworked.jpg


You're right, Tao. Anal IS the shit!

[jeff71913]

After a little oral the penis will be as clean as ever.
A douche is always a good idea if serious anal sex in on the agenda. I started to say "on the menue," but that probably wouldn't be a good idea at this point. However, it isn't always necessary to go that deep in order to enjoy anal sex. Simple touching, or digital penetration is sufficient for erogenous stimulation. Nevertheless, anal isn't for everyone. It is still my favorite form of sex. Although, I will now be psychologically scarred for life.
Thanks Cobra

jeffrey