my mom

[irus_secaris]

i finaly convinced my mom yesterday. it was extreemly sad. she was crying, realising what she'd done, and asked me "how will you forgive me?" i replied "i forgive you a little for realising wat u did, but i dont think i can ever fully forgive. you let them mutilate me, condoned child abuse and believed the doctor's lies." she started sobbing, and is realy depressed now. i feel bad for doing what i did, but its how i truely feel. wat do i do to make her feel better?

[finman]

It is very simple - forgive her.

[irus_secaris]

ive been trying, but i cant. =-(

[Them Boots]

Don't forgive her for her, forgive her for yourself.

[Joseph]

Yeah man, you can't blame people for not knowing better...

Some people are as hard a rocks and they won't listen.

Your mother has, and it sounds like she'd take it all back if she could.

If she really didn't care she wouldn't be acknowledging and asking forgiveness.

You can't undo the past, but you can decide how you want to live your future.

[z726]

It may help to try and look at this objectively, using the passive voice: what happened to you is what happened. It's in the past. You've acknowledged it, and that's about all you can do - well, besides restoring.

You've said your mother is Jewish, so don't lay 100% of the blame on her. Certain long held religious customs hardly ever get questioned, and from what I hear they're pretty strict on this one. She may not have felt (or even known) there was a choice in the matter. All you know is how she feels about it now, and that's what you should be responding to (once you can bring yourself to do it). You'll eventually be able to forgive her… it'll just take time to get past your own anger over the issue.

[Joseph]

Originally Posted by z726

You've said your mother is Jewish, so don't lay 100% of the blame on her.

Am I missing something? I don't see the Jewish reference anywhere.

If she's regretting it AND she's Jewish, that's just a double-plus IMO.

From what I've read in other people's experiences, if it's hard to get gentile parents to acknowledge they may have been mistaken, that goes DOUBLE for Jewish parents.

From what I've read, Jewish parents tend to be set in their ways because "it's my religion" etc. If your mother is Jewish and she is seriously feeling down about it, I'd say her feelings are genuine.

Consider this; a lot of the guys that come on here have talked with their parents, and no matter how hard they try the parents simply insist that they did nothing wrong and that there's nothing to acknowledge or apologize for.

A parent's acknowledgement is really all most guys ever really ask for. That you're getting your mother sobbing about it is quite a lot. Consider not many guys are this lucky.

[z726]

It was in one of his previous threads. Let's not try to stereotype, though - I was just putting that possibility out there for his consideration; I'm well aware that not everyone's like that, and didn't mean it as an presumption.

[madbr3991]

your mom realized what she did and seems sorry. that alone is difficult to do. you could forgive her but she is the only one that can truly forgive herself. if your mom will never mutilate another child. she cannot undo what she did to you. but she can be sorry about it. if you can stop this mutilation in your own family thats really the best you can hope for.

[irus_secaris]

i told her i forgive her. she hugged me, and said she was sorry and she loves me.