How do I tell my wife?

[abradley]

I've been manuallt tugging for about a month and started using the TLC Tugger for about a week now. I didn't have a tight circumcision so I've always had just a little extra skin around the head of my penis.

I have a feeling that eventually my wife will notice. How do I tell her? And what do I do if she looks at me like I have two heads, lol?

The main reasons for my restoration process is:

1) I never felt complete
2) I'm mad that I was cut without my permission
3) Have a normal penis
4) We're expecting our first child which is a boy. We are NOT having him circumcised. I want him to know that he's so normal and special that daddy is actually trying to be like him.

[new_recruit]

Actually....I think that's perfect.

[lalla711]

It depends, what is her take on circumcision? Was she also against it for your son? Neutral? Confused? You know her best, but I'd say no matter what just be honest (go over the reasons you listed). And there's also how it affects her: might want to buy a copy of Sex As Nature Intended It?

If she has a weird reaction at first, try to remember it's her cultural bias speaking... it may take awhile to overcome that, so try not to take it too personally if this is the case. Good luck!

[peterpink]

I think your reasons are fine and your wife should understand. If not, explain how you feel about this. Ask her how she would feel if it had been done to her. Reassure her that you will not damage anything as the techniques are used by many thousand of other men. If that does not work, go into the details of lost sensation.

I think it is important that you are up front with her about what you are doing. Don't just mention it in an off hand manner, but get her to sit down and say you want to talk about something that is very important to your mental health. Hopefully she will support you. Good relationships are about openness and mutual support. Best wishes. Let us know how things go.

[z726]

Originally Posted by abradley

I have a feeling that eventually my wife will notice. How do I tell her? And what do I do if she looks at me like I have two heads, lol?

Just tell her what you've told us here. If necessary, have her see an optometrist.

[vicousg42]

there's only so much that logic, ethics, personal experience, and time can do. i suggest telling her exactly how you feel. you are married after all. if it doesn't work at first, let time take its course. be patient and reiterate at times in different ways. eventually a breakthrough will happen....

[ctrclckws]

If you're expecting a child, and it's a boy, and she's already agrred not to cut him, then you are +1 on the meter.
Side question: Why is it parent's choice whether to cut a child?

My wife grew up in a non-circumcising culture, (Hindu from India), and yet she still wanted to cut our child, before ultra-sound told us it was a girl.

Your wife is apparently not dead set to cut, so would probably better understand your desire to be as whole as you can be.

She will be concerned about things like:
Do it hurt to have that thing on?
How long will it take?
etc.

It's easier to be consistent when the people you live with know what you are doing and why.

Maybe bring it up in the context of what you are not going to do to your son, that gives you an easy opening to point out places like this one, as well as circumstitions, Doctors Opposing Circumcision, NOCIRC, and others.

Let her read up. Get her support. You'll be happier for it.

[MelancholyLogic]

Originally Posted by abradley

4) We're expecting our first child which is a boy. We are NOT having him circumcised. I want him to know that he's so normal and special that daddy is actually trying to be like him.

This is incredibly touching to read. I realize it's not your only reason but still, I wish that more men who whine that "he needs to look like me!" would consider repairing their own bodies instead of damaging the bodies of their sons.

Best of luck with the conversation with your wife. Just be honest and patient with her. Let us know how it works out.

[abradley]

Well I finally told her and she is perfectly ok with it. Because I had a lose circumcision it's not taking extremely difficult to start seeing results. A few days ago I noticed that I had partial foreskin coverage for a few hours without tugging. My wife noticed when I got out the shower and said that my foreskin looked a little more. So I told her. She's perfectly fine with an uncircumcised penis just as long as it work lol.

[intact]

Originally Posted by abradley

Well I finally told her and she is perfectly ok with it. Because I had a lose circumcision it's not taking extremely difficult to start seeing results. A few days ago I noticed that I had partial foreskin coverage for a few hours without tugging. My wife noticed when I got out the shower and said that my foreskin looked a little more. So I told her. She's perfectly fine with an uncircumcised penis just as long as it work lol.

I'm fine with an uncircumcised vagina too.