i was finally able to tell both of my parents, and they laughed at me.

[Barthos01]

i just finished a long talk with my parents. about how i feel about circumcision, how i see it as mutilation. how i see it disgustingly unfair that women are protected and men are not. i even showed them a list of what is lost from circumcision and what could go wrong. my father kept saying "look, it says here 'has not been studied in depth'" every time it came up like it was an excuse. i told them how i feel like half of a man, that i feel incomplete. i told them that what they had done to me has ruined my life, weather they had thought they were doing the right thing at the time or not.

my father said that all of the uncut men he has ever known had infections. i know this is not true, how do i reply to this?
my mother said she thought the foreskin was gross. i told her "you think a dried out cut up one is better?!" all i want them to do is to look me in the eyes and tell me they are genuinely sorry they had me circumcised, and how it has affected me.

[mark85]

I can't tell you how sorry I am that that happened to you. No one's pain should ever be dismissed or ridiculed like that.

There are many ways to respond to your parents' comments, but the reality is that they are coming from such an irrational and ignorant place, that there is not likely any response you can give that will any meaningful effect on them. You have to keep in mind that if they accept your feelings of loss and mutilation as legitimate, they'd also have to accept culpability in causing you harm, they have to accept that they have been living in a society that has been causing harm to millions, and in the case of your father, he'd have to accept that he has been harmed as well. That's a lot for them to alter about their view of themselves, as well as their world view. That change is not going to come easy, if it ever does.

[Barthos01]

I even told them that I have been restoring for a year and a half, I said it's like I'm slowly modding a black and white TV, to a fairly decent color TV, but it still makes me angry knowing I'm supposed to have an HD TV with surround sound and 1000 channels in the first place.

[kevin1992]

I am feeling with you, i so regegnise me in you, thats tarreble.

*hugg*

I hope your parrents are gonne understand what they did and trutfully say sorry to you. You desurve that.

[slickskin]

Originally Posted by Barthos01

I even told them that I have been restoring for a year and a half, I said it's like I'm slowly modding a black and white TV, to a fairly decent color TV, but it still makes me angry knowing I'm supposed to have an HD TV with surround sound and 1000 channels in the first place.

That's a nice comparison, but they won't understand as they are ignorant about the foreskins sexual function. I'm sorry about that by the way. It was their responsibility to protect you and they utterly failed, choosing their own interests instead.

Don't let them bring you down. You've persisted in restoring for over a year, you're also strong enough to continue regardless of their negative attitudes.

[peterpink]

The way your parents responded is pretty normal. Give them break for a few days. Then come back and explain your feelings. Remind them it is a human rights issue. if it was really a health issue to would be done to girls as well.

Get them to watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DD2yW7AaZFw

[admin]

Originally Posted by Barthos01

i even showed them a list of what is lost from circumcision and what could go wrong. my father kept saying "look, it says here 'has not been studied in depth'"

Not being studied yet is a reason to leave something alone, not start hacking away.

Originally Posted by Barthos01

my father said that all of the uncut men he has ever known had infections. i know this is not true, how do i reply to this?

Those are MEN, they can choose how to deal with infections. A BABY who is healthy and normal deserves the chance to become a rational adult and weigh the evidence for himself. One in 9 women will get breast cancer. Cutting them at birth would save like a MILLION lives every year. We don't cut healthy normal body parts, we treat the people who get sick.

But the actual answer to your dad is that health policy is formed by scientific facts, not anecdotes. NOT ONE national medical association on earth endorses routine circumcison. The most recently updated national policy - Holland's elegant 17-page well-footnoted 2010 policy reflecting all the latest on STIs and Africa - says:

"KNMG is calling upon doctors to actively and insistently inform parents who are considering the procedure of the absence of medical benefits and the danger of complications."

Originally Posted by Barthos01

my mother said she thought the foreskin was gross.

Adults the world over choose all sorts of body mods for themselves (or in their sex partners), like tattoos, lip-stetching plates, tongue piercings, and breast enlargement. Even if 100% of adults were delighted with the mods, we would never feel entitiled to impose those on an infant. WHY is a boy's penis an exception?

[Barthos01]

Thanks for the virtual hug Kevin.

as for every one else, thanks for the advice and kind words.

I'm leaving to live with family out of state, and hopefully finally begin living my life, so i wont be able to talk to them directly for a year or so. I do know that I will have this conversation again in the future when they (and everyone else related to me) find out my future children will not be cut. I can only imagine the pressure and grief they will give me and whomever I am lucky enough to marry, but I swear, I will give my children the protection they deserve that I was so ignorantly denied.

Can I ever forgive them? No. Do I still love them? Yes.

[TheRifleman]

My father laughed at me, and asked me if I wanted my foreskin back, and I said, "hell yes, I do!"

When I tried to tell him how tramautized by what he and my mother did to me and my brother (it's a long story I'm not ready to tell yet), my father became very angry and obnoxious, so I didn't mention it to him again.

When I told my mother how I felt, she said what they did to me, and my brother, was "cruel," and "we blundered," and she really didn't want it done to us.

But, when I tried to further discuss it with her, she became just as angry and defensive as my father had been, so I never discussed it with her again.

She told me it should not bother me, because the horrible wound inflicted on me had healed. There was no use in telling her I was angry because a part of my body had been taken away from me.

While my father, who had some kind of sickness or was (figuartively) posessed by some demon, was the main one behind the atrocity my parents had done to me, and my brother, I still blame both of them, and have some hard feelings toward them, although not enough to have become estranged from my parents, as one young man told Wayne Griffiths he was planning to become, and Wayne replied he should not stop speaking to his parents, and I agree with Wayne on that.

[EliteDoomer]

Many people don't know how horrible circ is.
Many only imagine it is what it isn't.

You should show them this clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW1a9VUu4i4 and say that they had such done to you.
WARNING EXTREMELY BRUTAL CLIP!!!

Our parents failed to love us for who we were, they tried to make us into what they wanted and thus they failed us as protectors and indeed, parents.

Shatter their ignorance.