Why I broke off restoration and then came back

[sync45]

What you’re about to read may seem neurotic, or at least “philosophical”. But somehow I have the feeling that I’m not the only one who has gone through this, and want to share my experience. Please indulge me.

I was circumcised at birth back in 1945, and like most of us, had no awareness about it. That’s the way I was, and I never knew anything else.

When I came to Europe for the first time in the 60’s, I had a sexual encounter in Sweden. The girl said: “Oh, you’re cut”. I honestly didn’t know what she was talking about, and she was smart enough to let it go. It was good sex anyway.

In July, 2010 I somehow got interested in restoration, perhaps because I’d lived in Europe for over 40 years, and because my grandsons here were not circumcised. I got thinking about it.

I started manual tugging exercises, and the progress was amazing. See my “Progress” posts from that time. I was fortunate to start off as a loose-cut CI-3.

But then I got hit with the thought that restoration was really a kind of “reverse mutilation”. After all, I had been circumcised for 64 years, and did OK sexually, and also fathered 4 children. Maybe being circumcised wasn’t all that bad after all. A couple of women I talked to about it said that actually preferred circumcised men. So I took a break from restoration to think about it some more.

But in recent weeks, I just as suddenly got the urge to resume restoration. Maybe it’s just to finally discover what’s it’s like to have a foreskin. Maybe it’s another form of “reverse body modification” (I have a couple of tattoos and a frenum/frenulum piercing). In any case, I have started again, but in a soft and gradual way.

Just after a week or so of serious, but not intense, tugging, mitosis is already working, and my almost 100% coverage of the glans, albeit with “assistance”, in which I push the penis back toward the body and carefully pull up the newly-grown “foreskin”, is getting easier. I’m definitely not yet CI-4, but close to it. The way it is now, I can have this “assisted coverage” for hours – sometimes all day. It certainly gives me a taste of full restoration.

The only negative thing I notice is a feeling of constriction around the glans. But I assume this is because of the early stage of restoration.

My point is this: At this stage, I can experience what it’s like to have a foreskin (and the glans is definitely more sensitive as a result). But on the other hand, it’s a kind of “failsafe” situation, and I’m honestly not sure whether to continue the mission, because if I do continue, there’s no going back (at least not without another circumcision, which is not an option).

I could go on, but will stop, awaiting any welcome comments.

Sync45

[admin]

Originally Posted by sync45

a feeling of constriction around the glans.

Like pinching off urinary flow?

A snug skin tube is to me desirable, not a matter of concern.

-Ron

[slickskin]

Recount why you want to restore in the first place. I don't see why anyone that put in the time and effort would have any desire to go back to being cut, especially with all of the benefits of having a foreskin.

A feeling of constriction? You said you push the glans back so that you have "assisted coverage". This must be why it feels strange. If you continue your restoration and grow more skin, you should not have the feeling of constriction during coverage.

[Terato]

Originally Posted by sync45

But then I got hit with the thought that restoration was really a kind of “reverse mutilation”. After all, I had been circumcised for 64 years, and did OK sexually, and also fathered 4 children. Maybe being circumcised wasn’t all that bad after all. A couple of women I talked to about it said that actually preferred circumcised men. So I took a break from restoration to think about it some more.

Hey, gotta put in my two cents here. To me, what you want to do to or with your body is not a mutilation if it is something that you can consent to, have thought over, and used all the knowledge that is available at the time to you to help you make your choice. I think you did well in considering if restoring is something YOU want - after all, it is your body and your penis and you have to live with it, foreskin or not.

I'm hopefully going to re-pierce and then start stretching my earlobes soon. To some this may seem radical, but if I've researched the pros and cons of it, what might go wrong, and how to do it safely, and thought it over to make sure it is what I want, how is it mutilation? Simple answer: it isn't.

Best of luck.

[Tally]

Originally Posted by sync45

The only negative thing I notice is a feeling of constriction around the glans. But I assume this is because of the early stage of restoration.

When I first started getting flaccid coverage of my glans, my glans took on a torpedo shape from the compression of the foreskin. Normally I have a mushroom-shaped glans that is much wider than my shaft.

Several months after I attained flaccid coverage my glans slowly returned to its normal shape. Now when I retract my foreskin my glans looks normal - no more torpedo shape. I no longer feel any constriction from my restored foreskin, even when my pucker is tight. My dartos sheath is so strong that I have trouble urinating without retracting.

[sync45]

Thanks for these really good and useful comments. To answer Ron and Tally, specifically:

Ron, focusing on the "constriction" issue, I think I should have used the word "pressure", which is more apt, since there is no pain or real discomfort involved. Perhaps it is simply a new sensation that I'll get used to quickly. I understand your comment regarding the desirability of a tight tube, and can easily imagine how it enhances the “pleasure factor”. And yes, I do have a restricted urine flow when covered, due to the rather tight pucker of the foreskin at the tip of the glans. Sometimes, it’s almost completely closed. And yes, again, there is a fair amount of resistance from the foreskin when I retract it.

Tally, my penis and glans are exactly as pictured at CI-3 on the Foreskin Coverage Index website. In fact, I could have posed for the picture. I would mention a rather pronounced corona, which is probably what I’m feeling as “constriction” or “pressure”.

It’s really great to get this support and encouragement. Thanks a lot.

Sync45

[greg_b]

Originally Posted by sync45

...I was circumcised at birth back in 1945...

...I started manual tugging exercises, and the progress was amazing. See my “Progress” posts from that time. I was fortunate to start off as a loose-cut CI-3.

But then I got hit with the thought that restoration was really a kind of “reverse mutilation”. After all, I had been circumcised for 64 years, and did OK sexually, and also fathered 4 children. Maybe being circumcised wasn’t all that bad after all. A couple of women I talked to about it said that actually preferred circumcised men....

...But in recent weeks, I just as suddenly got the urge to resume restoration. Maybe it’s just to finally discover what’s it’s like to have a foreskin. Maybe it’s another form of “reverse body modification” ...

...I’m definitely not yet CI-4, but close to it. The way it is now, I can have this “assisted coverage” for hours – sometimes all day. It certainly gives me a taste of full restoration.

The only negative thing I notice is a feeling of constriction around the glans. But I assume this is because of the early stage of restoration.

My point is this: At this stage, I can experience what it’s like to have a foreskin (and the glans is definitely more sensitive as a result). But on the other hand, it’s a kind of “failsafe” situation, and I’m honestly not sure whether to continue the mission, because if I do continue, there’s no going back (at least not without another circumcision, which is not an option).

I could go on, but will stop, awaiting any welcome comments.

Sync45

You do not say how it feels for you before and after restoring. I can say that the new and tremendously better feelings I have convince me. I do not even think about odd ways to look at it like "reverse mutilation" and "reverse body modification". It never ceases to amaze me how our minds can find unique and curious ways to look at things. But if you are not gaining improved feelings, and are ambivalent about appearance, then I can see why your mind would go there.

Sure being circumcised was not that bad. It felt like the best feeling imaginable to me. But it wasn't that good, either, I just couldn't tell. I was circ'd at birth, so had nothing to compare. Now I do.

Now I have whole body orgasms.

Now reaching climax is easy.

Now I forget to fantasize.

Now all stages of arousal feel so good it is amazing.

Before, I had to fantasize, or no orgasm for me. Climax was a tensing of the stomach, then release. Arousal was a carefully orchestrated way to reach climax. Really pretty boring unless things kept progressing, which required really juicy and novel fantasies.

Sure some women will prefer circumcised men. Shrug. Some people prefer a lot of different things. I am not doing this for them.

Sure you have new feelings. You have new body parts.

A couple of points stick out for me. Since you have not mentioned the feelings you get, I assume that you have not gotten a lot of better feelings. So I can understand your questioning. I had to do this on faith too. But a few months into it, things started feeling a bit better, enough that my wife remarked on it. But it was not until I had enough slack to cover my glans without tension that I began to have whole body orgasms. That made a huge difference for both me and my wife.

You say something inside you seems to make you want to get back to restoring. I can relate to this. I was strongly opposed to circumcising my sons. This was before reading and learning what the value of a foreskin was and what it could do. And when I first read about restoring, I was captivated and decided in a few hours that I heeded to try. I do not know why I had those strong feelings. But my experience has shown me that it is worth trusting that little voice inside.

Restore because YOU want to. Restore because you feel that it is better to have a foreskin from an appearance standpoint. Restore because you have some confidence that sex will feel better for you and your partner.

Or do not. Maybe you do not feel that it looks better, Or will feel better. Or worry that some women will go "Yuck" when they find you have a foreskin. Your choice. Read and decide, its your body.

Regards

[sync45]

Greg, thanks so much for these most interesting, articulate and convincing commments. They overflow with conviction and sincerity. I can relate to everything you say.

I have to make it clear that I am just at the CI-3 stage going on CI-4, and can only accomplish coverage by actively assisting the new "foreskin". It does not yet flop over the corona by itself.

As for new sensations, the glans has already become softer and more sensitive thanks to the long periods of coverage I can accomplish. In fact, when uncovered, the grans already display irritation when touched by clothing.

Unfortunately, due to my wife's lost interest in sex, I cannot offer any comments on that aspect of restoration. I hope that this situation might improve, otherwise an "alternative" will have to be found.

Sync45

[Science Monk]

I think there are two possible subliminal issues you may dealing with:

1) Circ as tribal affiliation. You may feel inhibited about restoring all the way, and thus "switching sides." It sounds like you like stradling two cultures.

2) Manual tugging can be an in-your-face reminder of your mutilation. Whenever you manually tug, you are putting your fingers where you were scarred. (I never liked manual tugging. I found it easier to wear a device, probably because of this subliminal issue. It was another restorer who pointed this out to me.)

David
World As Money Island

[sync45]

Thanks for your thoughts, SM. They seem plausible, especially the idea of tribal identification and straddling cultures. I've lived in a non-circumcising country for a very long time, and I have become aware of the issue with the arrival of my grandsons. That led to research, which in turn, led me here. This is also the culture where I call home today. In one way, restoration also symbolically represents a chance to break with a personal past, which has not always been positive, and to start a new chapter. Going on 66, there's no better time than now.

I am not emotionally involved in restoration in the sense that I feel anger or deprivation. I think it’s more a question of esthetics and philosophy, in that I would like to experience the look and feel of how I was intended to be. If half the before-and-after claims made here are correct, it would seem to be worth it.

I have no problem doing manual tugging, which has worked very well for me. On the contrary, it gives me a feeling of taking control of my body and my life. But there too is probably an element of psychology involved. As you suggest, there may be a hesitation to make a full commitment. This is, I think, an issue I have to work on. As it is now, I’m at failsafe, in that I can be circumcised or (pseudo-)uncircumcised, according to mood. You’re right there: it’s a comfort zone caused by indecision. Having said that, it might also be seen as a period of experimentation - "try before you buy".

But one day I’ll have to decide which it’s going to be. It would be helpful to have a healthy sex life at home, where my wife and I could talk this through. This not being the case, it makes it all the harder to decide what final course to take.

I hope all of this may be helpful to others who find themselves in the same or similar situation.

Sync45